Good Secrets vs. Bad Secrets: Teaching Kids How to Stay Safe by Maram Barakat, M.A.

Bergen County Moms
Jun 4
2 min read

Girl with braids in a dark dress sits at a wooden table, looking sideways with a thoughtful expression; blurred brick wall background.

As parents, caregivers, and trusted adults in children’s lives, it’s crucial to talk openly with them about the difference between good secrets and bad secrets.

This guide offers simple, age-appropriate ways to talk with kids about when it's okay to keep a secret—and when it's important to speak up. With the right tools and open conversations, we can teach kids to protect themselves and feel confident coming to a trusted adult when something doesn’t feel right.

Good secrets are fun and temporary—like surprise parties or gifts. They’re meant to bring joy when they’re eventually shared.

Bad secrets, on the other hand, are those that make children feel uncomfortable, scared, or confused. If someone asks them to keep a secret that feels wrong, it’s important they know: it’s always okay to speak up.

What You Can Do:

Reassure your child that they can always come to you, no matter what.
Help them understand that their safety comes first—no secret should ever make them feel unsafe.
Role-play situations where they might be asked to keep a harmful secret, and teach them how to say no or ask a trusted adult for help.

For more insights and tips on supporting your child's emotional well-being, visit the Lukin Center for Psychotherapy.

Maram Barakat, M.A., is pursuing her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She has a master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University, with a special focus on global mental health and research methods. She is primarily interested in providing access to quality mental health services in low-to-middle income countries and vulnerable populations. She is especially passionate about working with survivors of abuse and violence. In fact, she has integrated her passion with her academic interests by focusing her master's thesis on culturally adapting and implementing cognitive processing therapy to Syrian refugee women who have experienced sexual violence during and post-displacement. Maram has worked as a mental health professional and advocate in Lebanon, Uganda, and New York for the past six years. At the Lukin Center, Maram will be taking on the role of social media manager. Her main responsibilities entail managing and monitoring the center's social media platforms, creating content, increasing engagement, and more. Apart from her professional interests, she enjoys acting, karaoke, and extreme sports.