You Did What? How I Learned Perspective from My Daughter by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coa



During her first semester at college, my daughter gave me the following head's up before returning home for a break -- she dyed her hair pink. While I didn't yell, I was upset. Why on earth would she do that? Here was her explanation.

Bard College is kind of a funky place, to put it mildly. Many of the students are on the fringe -- bright and nice, but a bit weird. Sarah did not fit the 'weird' part, but she was feeling some pressure (probably self-imposed) to do something to allow her to fit in. Of all the things she could have done, she dyed her hair pink. Her choices were many, including body piercings and tattoos. She made a conscious decision to make her statement with something noticeable, but not permanent. That's my girl!

Don't rush to judge. Keep an open mind. Remember that not all the bizarre things your kids do are aimed at aggravating you. Keep the lines of communication open so that you can have discussions like the one I had with Sarah.

And keep things in perspective. If it's not going to negatively affect the quality of your life, or theirs, question whether it is worthy of a battle. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it's no.


Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Life Coach. She works with parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, from the homework wars to addiction recovery, and all points in between. Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive and be successful through life's challenges. FernWeis.com | 201-747-9642

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