When Your Backpack Is Weighing You Down... You May Be Carrying Other People’s Stuff by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

I’ve been known to take on more than I should in all kinds of relationships, but none more intensely than motherhood. Let’s look at all this ‘taking on” as what’s in our backpack.

The first backpack is the diaper bag. It carries the necessities to anticipate all your baby’s needs. As they grow, your child’s needs change from the absolutely necessary to the things they can increasingly do for themselves.

Your role and titles change — and therefore your responsibilities. Your backpack gets heavier. Now you’re the chauffeur, shopper, cook, confidante, supervisor, and problem-solver.

The children add years and attitudes, trying to figure out their place in the family, in school, in the world. And your shoulders begin to ache from the weight of the concerns and responsibilities in your backpack that arrive with this stage of their lives.

At this point it is helpful to ask yourself some questions:

“Is all this mine to carry?”

“Who cares more about this grade/getting to school on time/getting a job?”

And finally, “Why am I working harder on my child’s problem than my child is?”

My parenting experiences led me to ask these questions and inspired this month’s Fern Weis Letter.

Letter No. 3, Who Cares More?, is about recognizing what you’ve taken on, why you’ve taken it on, and finding your way back to a relationship where each of you carries what is yours.

If you’ve been thinking about joining, this is a gentle reminder.

The deadline to begin your free trial is midnight on August 31.

You’ll receive Letter No. 3, Who Cares More?, along with four digital gifts valued at $470 that you can access while you’re waiting for your letter to arrive in your mailbox.

I’d love for you to join me. Do it here: https://fernweisbook.com/free-newsletter-trial

Be well and hand over what’s not yours to carry.

Fern Weis | Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.