The phrase ‘letting go’ has been coming up everywhere I turn. It is tied to self-esteem, resilience, emotional intelligence and every other buzzword for raising children to become self-sufficient, independent and satisfied adults.
Rather than an article, I’m sharing a poem with the title “Letting Go”. The first time I saw this was at Hyde School. My husband and I were learning to put our attention on us, and to letting our child take responsibility for himself. That’s when everything began to change.
I remember being asked to pick one line that resonated with me. One line? Seriously? Everything in that poem spoke to me! They still do, as these concepts apply to most relationships (including the one with myself).
What speaks to you? Which line (or two, or three) makes you uncomfortable or brings you to tears? That’s the one that most needs your attention.
If it feels safe to do so, I invite you to share your thoughts with me by email (Fern@fernweis.com). Who knows, it might even develop into a conversation, or a monthly call of parents supporting each other through challenging situations. I’m open to the possibilities.
And now, on to the poem.
Letting Go (Anonymous)
~ To ‘let go’ does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
~ To ‘let go’ is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to try to change another, it’s to make the most of myself.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to care for, but to care about.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to fix, but to be supportive.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to deny, but to accept.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish everything in it.
~ To ‘let go’ is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
~ To ‘let go’ is to fear less and love more.
Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Life Coach. She works with parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, from the homework wars to addiction recovery, and all points in between. Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive and be successful through life's challenges. FernWeis.com | 201-747-9642