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What is Love Bombing? By Maram Barak, M.A.

What is Love Bombing? By Maram Barak, M.A., Bergen County Moms

Love bombing is a form of emotional and psychological manipulation that involves a pursuer going above and beyond, very early on in the relationship, to obtain the affection and attention of someone they are romantically interested in. It is a controlling tactic in which the pursuer lavishes a new romantic partner with grand gestures and constant contact to gain an upper hand in the relationship.

The bombardment of affection, attention, flattery, and compliments creates a context where those being pursued feel like the relationship is effortless and that they have met their soulmate. It is easy to fall for love bombing because it feels good.

However, in reality, the love bomber is creating an environment in which their partner becomes more and more dependent on them making it easy for the love bomber to control and influence their partner.

While grand gestures and compliments can be a part of strong and healthy relationships, the differentiating factor in love bombing is the timeline in which these behaviors occur.

Here are some love bombing signs to look out for when you are beginning a new romantic relationship:

  • They flood to you with phone calls/texts throughout the day, expressing their affection

  • They use terms like "soulmate", and "being the one" very early on, despite not having known you for long

  • They get upset when you are not reciprocating affection with the same level of intensity

  • They will give you their undivided attention and expect you to do the same

  • They say "I love you" or "I am in love with you" very early on

Maram Barakat, M.A., is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She has a master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University, with a special focus on global mental health and research methods. She is primarily interested in providing access to quality mental health services in low-to-middle income countries and vulnerable populations. She is especially passionate about working with survivors of abuse and violence. In fact, she has integrated her passion with her academic interests by focusing her master's thesis on culturally adapting and implementing cognitive processing therapy to Syrian refugee women who have experienced sexual violence during and post-displacement. Maram has worked as a mental health professional and advocate in Lebanon, Uganda, and New York for the past six years. At the Lukin Center, Maram will be taking on the role of social media manager. Her main responsibilities entail managing and monitoring the center's social media platforms, creating content, increasing engagement, and more. Apart from her professional interests, she enjoys acting, karaoke, and extreme sports.

Lukin Center for Psychotherapy, Bergen County Moms

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