Mindset Shift: I Need To > I Get To by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach
Updated: 2 days ago
I need to! I have to!
It doesn't inspire enthusiasm, does it?
A goal is connected to an emotion. It’s great when the emotion is excitement; your brain will naturally want to get it done.
But... if it feels like pressure — something you need to do or should do — instead of something you want to do, your brain will see it as a burden.
You’ll likely procrastinate and maybe give up.
Your brain gives you what you think most about: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 “𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨, 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝” 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 “𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨”?
It sounds like an opportunity, doesn’t it?
A crack in the wall of avoidance.
An easing of resistance.
As with most of what I share, what works for you, can work for your child. (More below.)
Take in this message. Practice on yourself. Then offer “I get to” as an alternative to your child.
Be patient — with yourself and your child. It’s not as simple as knowing the strategy; it takes time and practice.
But… if you don’t even try, it definitely won’t work.
Decide that you will practice this technique, one day at a time, one situation at a time.
Let me know how it goes.
P.S. Take a humorous look at parenting through the eyes of me, my children and my dogs. My new book is "Leashes, Lessons and Love: What Dogs Teach Us About Raising Our Kids and Ourselves."
Order here: https://fernweisbook.com/book.
Enjoy!
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.
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