I decided that if you have a toddler that you have to follow around, that can’t do stairs yet, and likes to go in drawers and pull out things…you are in the trenches. End of story.
I’m actually tired of making excuses for myself. This moment in life is hard. Period. I’m going to own it. I feel like I should be doing a better job or trying to be super mom. I feel like if I can just let myself be mediocre at times, I will feel much better about everything. It already helps. I’m already seeing clearer.
I collapse on my bed at night, so tired from the day; from following my one year around all day, shuffling the children to and from. When my husband gets home, we enjoy a cocktail together, i.e., a cookie or chocolate. He says, “Care to join me for a cocktail,” and pulls out a bag of Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips and we take a handful. Cheers! And then we laugh! We are too bothered to pull out the wine, especially if the dishes are done. I picture myself cleaning a wine glass and decide that a scoop of chocolate chips is the answer; the exhaustion of toddler life.
Today, I was listening to the Dave Matthews band and “the best of what’s around,” came on.
“Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We’ll make the best of what’s around”
Because it isn’t just hard when you have a toddler, I know that. Last night, my 6 year old’s tummy hurt, my 4 year old’s butt hurt, and my one year old was screaming for attention. I said, “I can’t. I just can’t.”
“We’ll make the best of what’s around.” It is playing in my head.
And so, we decide that we can. And we do. We put a warm wash cloth on the belly, butt cream on the butt, and pick up the toddler and sing. Sometimes we do it well and sometimes we do a sub-par job. But, we get through it.
Am I consistently making “the best of what’s around,” the best? Not really. But, I’m trying. You know what helps. You! Moms. Mom friends who UNDERSTAND! Moms who don’t sugarcoat their days and their life. Moms who drink wine with you. Moms who DO NOT criticize. Moms who have older children but REMEMBER what it is like when they are young. Moms who do NOT say, “It goes FAAAASSSTT” Moms who want to listen and support. Moms who do not get mad if you miss a birthday party.
Moms who look at you when you leave something mid-way through and say, “I get it.” OR say, “I would too if I were you.” Moms who do NOT share articles about how children of working moms are better off or children of stay at home moms are better off. Moms who know we are all in it together.
Moms, we cannot forget to link up.
Moms, we cannot forget that we are in this together.
“Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters….”
I beg you all to enjoy your day this Sunday. Mother’s day! You have earned it. I beg you to find Mom friends who you connect with on such a strong, high level of understanding. I beg you to say thank you to your mom if she is still with us. I beg you to allow yourself to feel special. Hug your kids. Because it is who you are with, that really matters. And on this day, it is all about you.
Moms, I salute you…
…Because our job is hard. And trying to do it well is even harder. And finding the patience and receiving the guidance is even harder than that.
“Her arms are open
Her mind’s eye is seeing things from a better side than most can dream
On a clearer road I feel…”
-Dave Matthews Band
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!
Noreen Heffernan, Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies.