BALM For a Sad and Hurting Heart by Fern Weis

Updated: Jan 14, 2019



Imagine. A high school student’s grades are slipping. She’s never been a really social kid, and seems to be a little quieter and more isolated than usual. The parents, who are divorced, wonder if there are some learning difficulties, maybe even a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. They think she may be dabbling with pot.

While this could be a family you might know, it is a real family to me. The dad came to me early in my coaching career, seeking help with parenting, communication with his ex, and identifying resources. We worked together for two months. After two sessions, he learned that his daughter was regularly smoking pot. By the end of the two months, and after drug and psychosocial testing, he was looking for a treatment program for her.

Shortly after that our coaching partnership ended. He and his family needed far more support and services than I could possibly provide.

Not every person who experiments with drugs and alcohol becomes an addict. Some wander into this world and get back on track; however, far too many are not able to find their way out, and become trapped in the disease of addiction.

It’s happening in the homes of people whose public face gives nothing away. All is well… on the outside. Addiction affects more families, and more families you know, than you can imagine. It’s the secret nobody talks about. Maybe it’s your secret.

Over the past six years, more and more parents have contacted me with a child’s drinking or drugging being a suspicion or a known problem. I estimate they represent at least one third of the calls I receive. I was frustrated with my inability to provide at least some of the support they needed. And then I found the BALM.

Be A Loving Mirror - the BALM Comprehensive program for families affected by a loved one’s addiction.

The BALM was created by Beverly Buncher, the founder of Family Recovery Resources. Bev knows first-hand the challenges facing families at each step of the addiction and recovery path. For many years she practiced what she learned from Al-Anon, coaches, therapists and spiritual guides. Then she decided to help others dealing with similar situations.

Bev launched the Be A Loving Mirror program with families. The work is designed to help family members first understand their role in the family disease of addiction; take action to get their own lives back; and learn to communicate in ways that encourage their loved one to get and stay sober.

It was so successful that she began to train coaches to educate and support families with the BALM process. (It is also being adopted by treatment centers around the country.) I am one of the coaches, and earned my certification a year ago.

What a gift to be able to offer this to families!

Treatment for a loved one is a great beginning, but what happens when the addict comes home? Or when you first find out your child, spouse, sibling or parent is using? It’s crucial for family members to get support, too. Addiction is a disease that affects the whole family.

If someone you love is using, or someone you care about has a using loved one, here is how the BALM is available:

1. A year of the BALM Comprehensive, for up to four (4) family members. The program is presented through multiple weekly live calls, workbooks, an archive of more than 120 recorded calls with expert interviews, discussions, individuals and families in recovery. There is also a weekly live group coaching call. You can participate live on the phone, or at your convenience with the recordings.

2. Private BALM Family Recovery Life Coaching with me, which includes a year of the BALM virtual program.

Did you notice that the BALM virtual program is part of the process no matter which option you choose? That’s because it provides the information, transformation and support that will help you get the most powerful results.

There is so much more to this program than can be explained here. To learn more, I invite you to visit my website, Family Recovery Partners. And when you’re ready, contact me for a complimentary BALM Family Recovery Consultation. You’re not meant to do this alone.

If you work with students and families, I would love to share more about this program with you. If you are in the field of treatment and recovery, please be in touch. The BALM changes lives.

I have seen and heard miracles happening in families that learn and practice the BALM. You can regain your sanity and serenity as you learn how to become your loved one’s BEST chance at recovery.


Click here to learn more about our FREE Family Recovery Support Group meeting on Tuesday, February 21st.


Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Life Coach. She works with parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, from the homework wars to addiction recovery, and all points in between. Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive and be successful through life's challenges. FernWeis.com | 201-747-9642

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