Why the Instinct to Correct Works Against You and Your Child by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

The instinct to correct. Sit with that for a while.

When children make mistakes, the instinct to correct just appears. It is, after all, an instinct. It comes unbidden, without thought.

To quote Star Trek, it comes from the brain’s “prime directive” — to protect and ensure survival. This leads to an often-uncontrollable need parents have:

• to teach

• to guide 

• to prevent mistakes

• to help their child do better next time

But there’s a small – and quite significant – step that often matters even more.

Connection before correction.

When a child feels understood first, they are far more open to hearing guidance afterward.

Without that connection, correction is taken as criticism.

And criticism tends to shut conversations down. (Another “prime directive.” Can you relate?)

Connection opens the door. 

Correction becomes easier to hear.

For more support in how to talk to your child, schedule your complimentary 30-minute Parent Transformation Session HERE.

Take a deep dive into what keeps you struggling with that impulse to correct, or anything else on your mind about raising your child and maintaining your sanity. 

Fern Weis | Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.