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When Couples Need Counseling by Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D.

Updated: Aug 21, 2020

Relationships are dynamic processes that evolve over time between two people who are simultaneously growing individually. As such, relationships can be complicated and difficult. It is important that each individual is supported while nurturing the health and growth of their relationship.

In counseling, a therapist works with you and your partner simultaneously to provide a safe space to explore the dance of negative interactions that couples find themselves stuck in. As relationships develop, patterns of behavior become set, and couples often find it difficult to break free from them. The goal of couples counseling is to create new interaction patterns in which each partner feels accepted and supported, and in which the couple is able to work together to solve problems and face challenges as they arise.

Therapists help each individual become aware of their own emotional reactions to negative interactions and understand the source of those emotions. Couples counseling facilitate each individual’s acceptance of their own emotions, as well as those of their partner. Ultimately, couples counseling help each partner regulate maladaptive emotions and transform them into adaptive ones.

At the Lukin Center, our psychologists utilize Emotionally Focused Therapy techniques to improve relationships by:

  • Identifying the central issues of conflict and the negative interaction cycles in each relationship

  • Identifying and promoting the expression of each partner’s emotional experience and attachment needs

  • Fostering acceptance of each partner’s experience in the relationship

  • Creating new adaptive cycles of behavior

Stay Healthy,

Dr. Lukin

Lukin Center Psychotherapy Offers Tele-Therapy

To help support our community, we are offering a 15% discount for new patients that are interested in getting started with tele-health to help manage feelings of anxiety and isolation during this time.

Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in Ridgewood, Hoboken, Jersey City, Englewood and Clifton. He has extensive clinical and research experience spanning individuals of all ages, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He specializes in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and relationship problems. His therapeutic approach focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help patients effectively address personal challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques to offer a personalized approach tailored to each patient. He has been trained in cognitive-behavioral, dialectical behavior, schema-focused, and emotionally focused therapy, and has also been involved with research projects throughout his career, including two National Institute of Mental Health-funded studies. He is a member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, New Jersey Psychological Association, Northeast Counties Association of Psychologists, New York State Psychological Association, The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, The New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, the International OCD Foundation, the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACSB) and a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

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