In coaching we ask “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” The fear of failure stops your teen (maybe you?) in their tracks. What if I fail? What will people say/think about me? How will I feel about myself? I’m a loser. And if you don’t try, explore, experiment (in healthy ways, of course), you never know what you might have accomplished and learned. Remember when your child mastered tying their shoelaces? writing their letters? reading a chapter book? Remember their excitement and pride? The older they get the riskier it feels to try something new or be different, just for the sake of trying something new. Think of students who only take an AP course if they’re sure they can ace it. What happened to the curiosity of learning and the challenge of doing something without a guaranteed outcome? Playing it safe is safe, but it’s not satisfying. Win or lose, creativity is fun and builds confidence. Having a talk about it probably won’t be effective. Do something new yourself and share the process. Your actions speak way louder than your words. Creativity builds confidence and self-esteem. Start modeling it now.
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Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.