When Parenting Feels Like One Big Mistake by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Many parents of teens and tweens struggle with a persistent feeling of failure. They pour their time, energy and love into raising their children; yet, when faced with ongoing conflicts, emotional outbursts or defiant behavior, they begin to wonder, “Where did I go wrong?”

This thinking can easily turn into a passive, 'I'm helpless' mindset, where parents feel stuck, powerless and at the mercy of their child's behavior.

But parenting isn't something that happens to you; it something you can choose to shape, even when things feel difficult. Especially when they feel difficult.

While you can't control your child's behavior - because no one can change another human being - you can change how you show up.

And when you shift your approach, the people around you, your children, begin to shift, too.

Why do parents feel like failures?

1. Unrealistic Expectations - Society insists on an idealized vision of parenting: patient, wise, and always knowing the right thing to say and do. Not going to happen. But the contrast between the vision and reality causes parents to assume they're doing something wrong.

2. The Comparison Trap - Social media, parenting books, and even other parents can make it seem like everyone else has it figured out. Except you. This drives self-doubt and a sense of inadequacy. Remember: comparison is the thief of joy. 

3. Recurring Struggles - When the same issues come up, day after day (such as disrespect, screen time battles, or school struggles), you may feel that nothing is working. But real change takes time, and setbacks are part of the process. 

4. Emotional Overload - You love your children, deeply. When those same children push you to the edge, ignore your advice, or make risky choices, it's easy to take it personally. Some of this about adolescent development, and yes, some is about you and how you show up as a parent. 

5. Victim Mentality - Without realizing it, you can slip into a passive mindset, believing that there's nothing to be done. While you can't control your child's behavior, there are possibilities for change. Help is available. All you have to do is ask.

Because... you're not a failure. You're on a journey of growth, just like your kids. 

Stay tuned for Part 2 - Breaking Free of the 'Failure' Mindset: Next Steps

Action Step: Parenting can be tough, but you’re not failing – you’re growing. A little support can make all the difference, so book your free Parent Support Call today. Together, we’ll create a plan for more confident and effective parenting.

Fern Weis | Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.