The single longest relationship we will ever have is with ourselves!
The longest enduring relationship, the one that we cannot divorce, quit, or move away from, is that affiliation that we each have every day with our own face in the mirror. Liking and loving who we are provides us with a super power to live the life we want and giving us the power to choose happy. To define and redefine who we are and how we opt to show up, not only for others...but for ourselves.
It is this coach's opinion that the art of "showing up" is at the heart of our personal power in loving ourselves.
We all have bad days; times that we would rather pull the blankets over our heads then face the day ahead. Yet, it is at this crossroads of overwhelm and our own comfort zones that the power of prioritizing our needs comes to life and manifests as self-love.
Self-love is not a one-and-done commitment. It is an everyday commitment. It runs the line of our lives and provides us with a lifeline to connect with our inner child, our core values, and our abilities to live the lives we most desire.
How we treat ourselves is reflected in who and what we attract toward us. Self-love and self-esteem go hand-in-hand. They are seeped in our understanding of our own value and in our ability to prioritize ourselves in the confines of a busy world. Without the ability to love ourselves first, we limit our ability to love others. Loving ourselves is not selfish or narcissistic. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Self-love paves the way for understanding, gratitude, forgiveness, and empathy. It puts judgment aside in favor of acceptance.
Loving ourselves in its purest form means that we do not need to rely on others for our own approval, or joy, or acceptance. Instead, if we practice self-love, we can rely first on ourselves. This takes the burden off of our relationships because it fosters independence. When we actively love ourselves we come to the table in any liaison as an equal partner. We have something to give, to contribute, and to share. This does not mean that we do not lean into our partners, our friendships, and our everyday world. Yet, it does require us to make a choice, a decision to position our longest running relationship with ourselves at the center of our list of priorities, giving it daily the respect it deserves.
Self-love begins and ends with each of us.
Trust Yourself. Practice Imperfect. Discover Your Inner Child.
The only barometer for measuring our own successes should be gauging them against our own mark. When we practice positive self-esteem, we are more concerned with improving ourselves based on what we have achieved personally and less on what others are achieving or expecting. We lose the need for judgments in favor of the milestones of our accomplishments themselves. In essence, our accomplishments become our markers. We need to believe that we CAN and be willing to step forward into supporting that belief.
Power Step: Ditch the running to-do list because it focuses our energy on what we did not do. Replace it with a daily accomplishment list, which shifts our thoughts toward celebrating our daily successes. At night, highlight 1 key and 4 supporting priorities. These are success goals for the next day. By creating a today list of highlights you CAN do, rather than an overwhelming to-do list, we can more easily step into and accomplish the tasks at hand enriching us mentally, physically and spiritually.
We need to be willing to make mistakes. When we second guess ourselves, or question our own value, we also question our ability to accept ourselves as we are. In that moment, we shut down our own self-love in favor of pleasing others, thereby making everyone else more worthy of being appreciated by us, then us. Fear of failure, success, fear of not being good enough, can be paralyzing, placing us in a mode of procrastination and denial. Practicing imperfect means giving us each the space, time, and authorization to make mistakes and to carve these mistakes into the tapestry of our lives. It is from this that our truest identity emerges. Imperfect is what makes us unique.
Power Step: Make a "re-do" list. Log in recent times that something was attempted and did work out according to plan. Now, picture that these same scenarios were once again playing out in front of you. Envisioning how we would handle our "fails" differently based on what we learned from the mistake itself is an empowering way to move through our fears and use them to our best advantage. Now, mentally erase the setback itself. Every day is a clean slate and a new beginning.
Reaching inward requires us to make a connection back in order to move forward. Putting an ear to our hearts forges our association to what we may have forgotten, and to the whispers we may not have heard. When we allow our inner child, our Forgotten Woman or Man to step forward, we give ourselves the opportunity to prioritize and love ourselves. Permitting ourselves personal time frees us to explore not only what we may have overlooked, but also what we may yet to have tried. We lose the excuses and the fears in favor of savoring the possibilities. We free ourselves of "busy" long enough to refocus, think, and experience life.
Power Step: Show the love! Taking time to make a date with ourselves to "play" puts control back into our lives. This ability to prioritize ourselves through exercise, coloring, meditation, travel, nature, classes and things that we love opens us up to our own evolution. Schedule these personal meetings and moments FIRST and build out around this when planning agendas. This approach tweaks the need to try to fit ourselves in after the fact and eliminates the feeling of overwhelm when we think that we are not doing the things we most want to.
Feel the love?
Start now. Be curious. Play.
Love like a puppy!
Randi Levin CPC, founder & CEO, Randi Levin Coaching—is a nationally recognized transitional life strategist, author, speaker, and reinvention expert. Her core belief is that we have the choice and the power to carve out and curate our own legacy based on embracing our ongoing evolution. At the age of 22, women make sweeping life-long decisions that no longer align with a 40, 50, or 65-year-old version of who they are. Utilizing a “what’s next mindset,” Randi applies her Signature GPS Coaching System incorporating growth, purpose, and success steps to support her clients in pivoting and refreshing their lives, empowering them to be the best reflection of who they are today. She is a contributor and featured expert for ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, HuffPost, Thrive Global, DivorceForce, Three Tomatoes, Women for One, and a variety of national publications and podcasts. Her workshops have been featured in The Wall Street Journal and she is a contributing author in the anthology series Get RESULTS!