The Magic of the Do-Over by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach


I bet you’ve always thought do-overs are for kids and games. Think again. Do-overs apply to most situations and people, although we really focus here on your relationship with your child.

Do you wish you had handled a situation differently with your teen? You never know what will fly out of your mouth when they give you attitude, rebellion or indifference… or when you are tired or worried. Who you are in the heat of the moment is not who you are an hour or a day later. I admit, I’ve been known to scream from frustration. I’m needing to be right, or just don’t feel heard. Ditto for my kid, right?

It takes a little courage (which means leaving your ego in another room) to come back, after the fact, and bring up the topic again. You won’t regret it – promise. What’s on the other side of your fear is resolution and understanding. So take that leap. Tell your teen you had some time to think about what happened and what was said.

- “What I really wanted to say… “ - “I’ve been thinking about what happened and I’d like to talk to you again, without arguing or yelling. - “I’m calmer now, and I do want to hear what you have to say.”

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The added benefit is that you are showing your kids how people reconcile, discuss their differences and show humility. That sounds like a win-win to me.

Start taking advantage of your ‘do-over’ opportunities. And share this message with friends and family. You never know who needs to hear just this message, today.


Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting.  In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery.  She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.

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