Who is in your front row? Who is cheering you on? Who is lifting you up and who is throwing bricks in your boat? These are important questions when navigating what we all rely on, The Mom Friend.
I went to Disney on Ice in the beginning of the month. We left a little late for the show because my daughter has food allergies and I have to make sure she eats before we go anywhere because I never know if she will be able to find something ok to eat at events. My mom friends would know that. It was a freezing cold day and my 2-year-old needed to go back to the car to get her scarf. So, we did. We parked on the other side of the building so we had to walk around the entire building to get our seats. You can imagine that, right? Normal Mom stuff that happens. Not really a big deal. So, we finally find our row.
The show has begun and I’m looking at our tickets to make sure we have the correct seats, when another mom says this to me. “Some of us got here on time, you know so PLEASE SIT DOWN!!!!” I was like, “Huh?” Is this real right now? Is this other mom saying these words to me, right now?????? So, I say, “Please don’t be rude, I’m just trying to make sure we are in the right seats.” And then she says it again. “WELL, some of us have it together to get here on TIME and MY CHILDREN CAN’T SEE.” You know when you are teetering on the end of your rope. You know that feeling? When maybe someone can just say one little thing to set you off? Well I got in her face and screamed, “I’M JUST LOOKING FOR MY TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That’s all I could muster up. And then we all sat down and watched the show as I seethed and thought about all the things I wish I could say to her. Now, almost a month later, I still keep thinking about that woman. I just think, she is not the type of mom I would ever want to be friends with. How she clearly doesn’t have other mom’s backs. How she clearly only cares about her situation and her children. How she couldn’t for a second think, well maybe she had a tough time getting here? And how she didn’t even have the patience to wait 30 seconds while we got situated.
How she would never be in my front row. How she probably isn’t in anyone’s front row.
My friend told me about the idea of the front row and I instantly loved it. Because, yes, we have mom friends and mom acquaintances, but how many of them are sitting front and center wishing for you to succeed? Being genuinely happy about your achievements and feel upset when you are having a bad day? How many of them don’t get jealous when something incredible happens? Who are the ones who are taking their pointer finger and thumbs and whistling as loud as can be? Just think about it, and be aware. You don’t need to write anything down or get upset about it. The only thing you need to do is take a mental note of who are the mom friends who have your back. Who is standing up, clapping with their entire body; hands, face, and the light of love.
Think about it. And then make sure to feel grateful for them.
You better believe that Disney on Ice mom is sitting in the corner of the back row, in the dark, silently judging her mom friends. Don’t surround yourself with a bunch of hers. Surround yourself with the people who truly and genuinely see the best in you and for you. Those are the people who count. Those are the people that you need to put stake in. They are buying pre-sale tickets, arriving early, and standing and basking in your glow. They are it. And make sure to be “it” for your mom friends too. Because there is nothing more warm and inviting, then knowing you have people who are sitting in the front row for you as it is when you are sitting in the front row for them.
Noreen Heffernan, Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR , Writer, Growing Ladies and Beautycounter Consultant,
Noreen.heffernan@gmail.com