Is my house clean? Are my kids ok? Do I worry? Can I relax? DO I get enough time to myself? Do I exercise enough? Do I drink enough water? Am I keeping my kids safe and healthy? Am I happy? Do I know who I am? Am I enough?
What are the answers to these questions? Who knows. We are all moms. And if you are home, like me, chances are that some of the answers to these questions could involve pages and pages of explanations. BUT… WELL…. SOMETIMES…. And maybe they can be a simple yes or no. Do I get enough time to myself? NOPE!
Because, when you dedicate your life to one thing, you can sometimes lose your authentic self. And you start to question things.
I have had a rough few weeks. My little 2-year-old got pneumonia. And, just when she recovered, my oldest got diagnosed with bronchitis. Around the same time, we had a first communion (which was beautiful), a dance recital, (which worked out well) and a few other things that I had to be at. I felt overwhelmed. Rather, I feel overwhelmed. I’m tired. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed these moments. I live for these moments. But, I did do it all by myself. I did it with a very sick baby. And now I’m reeling. And I do feel exhausted from the day to day grind. Sometimes, it’s true…something’s got to give.
But nothing gives. Because we can’t check out. Last night, everyone was crying. And I wanted to hide under a blanket. But I couldn’t. And then I woke up to the baby crying because her binky was on the floor. All this isn’t something out of the norm. Nope. Someone is always whining and crying and complaining. I think to myself, ‘what am I doing wrong?’ Why are my kids always complaining? Am I creating this for myself?
But no, I’m not.
This is called Motherhood. SIGH…
I came out of my shell, so to speak, to write to you, Moms. Mother’s Day is coming up and I don’t want you to feel disappointed with anything. Nobody can possibly understand what you are going through, because they aren’t you. Only you know. Only I know how I feel. And maybe your husband can see a little of this and a little of that. But only a little. Of this. Of that. So, this Mother’s Day my beautiful Moms, be kind to yourself. Do something that YOU want to do. Because every day, you are dedicated to everyone else. Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate what you do on the day to day. The poopie, crying, whining, spilling day to day. It is a day for your children and your husband to say THANK YOU. Being a mom is really, really hard. It takes everything out of you. It requires tons and tons of patience and oodles and oodles of love.
Like I said, last night I was in tears. And laid in my bed next to my daughter who didn’t feel well. And my husband whispered in my ear and I quote, “We both have to always try and remember that whenever we are tired, stressed, sad, nervous, frustrated or angry, every sacrifice we are currently making is for our family. Something bigger than ourselves.”
I shut my eyes with my priorities back together. Glued tight.
Yes Moms, we do it for them. It’s hard. And sometimes it brings you to the brink of exhaustion. But, it is bigger than ourselves. My three little hearts are on the line.
But at the same time, we need to be able to recharge and renew.
So figure out what makes you feel renewed.
I’ll be doing the same.
And then do it. And keep doing it. The dirty dishes will always be there. The crying will continue to happen. But, you need something for you also. We do it for them. But, we need to keep ourselves in tact too. Don’t forget that. Only then can you be whole.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Sending love and hugs your way. Sending smiles and time.
Take some time for yourself on Sunday.
And let everyone say THANK YOU. You deserve it.