Parents, have you ever had days when you wonder if your "sweet little daughter", the one who was so proud to drag you by the hand into her school to meet her friends and see her hand-print turkey craft, was somehow switched in the night by aliens for the eye-rolling, door-slamming bundle of sarcasm who now stands before you?
Have you ever backed out of a conversation cautiously with your daughter because it was becoming increasingly obvious you had long ago lost the argument? Then woke up one morning to find out you don't know anything, you can't dress, your hair is blah, your music is lame and you immediately sense that one false move will assuredly set off the avalanche of emotions brewing behind the eyes of this person who no longer thinks you walk on water.
Welcome to being a parent of a tween, where your “Goal is to survive. Not win, just survive.” As Abi, of Lauging Abi, wrote when she realized that her tween is not just one little girl, “she is actually 7 multiple personalities ranging in age from 3 to 40“.
Do any of these tween personalities sound familiar*?
1. The BFF Age: 35-40: This woman goes with me to get manicures, chats over lattes at Starbuck’s (always my treat), and goes out of her way to listen to my problems and help in any way possible. The BFF doesn’t come around very often but when she does you can hear the angels singing from above.
2. The Sweetheart: Age: 6: This is the sweetest, dearest little girl you will ever meet. She loves to snuggle and give kisses. She will climb up on the couch next to you on any given night just to tell you how much she loves you. She comes around even less than the BFF.
3. The Devil’s Twin Age: Unknown: This evil twin usually lurks around my house during late afternoon hours. She looks exactly like the BFF or the Sweetheart, but when you speak to her burning acid shoots out of her mouth and does not stop until you flee the room, screaming profanities. Occasionally she rears her ugly head early in the morning so beware.
4. The Einstein/Miss Independent Age: 11-20: This girl knows everything and can do everything herself. Everything. The easiest way to identify her is by her language. She only speaks two words, “I know.”
5. The Mature One Age: 18-22: This is a young woman who knows how to handle herself. She tackles every chore with maturity. She does things without being asked. She engages in conversation with adults in a way that makes you consider admitting you are her parent. Unfortunately, she does not come around very often.
6. The Baby Age: 3-5: Often confused with the Drama Queen, this child believes every single, itty, bitty, teeny, weeny injury is a near-death experience. She once asked to go to the emergency room because she bent her hair.
7. The Drama Queen Age: 10-20: This girl is very similar to The Baby. However, she does not need to be injured to believe the world is ending. She only needs to be breathing. No clean jeans to wear? End of world. Can’t find her hairbrush? End of world. It’s Tuesday and she wants it to be Wednesday? End of world. Please note, the Drama Queen can instantly transform into the Devil’s Twin without any warning or notice.
I shared this with several of my tween and teen clients and they thought this was hysterical - and at times spot on!
They also asked if there was one for moms ;)
*Source and quotes from Laughing Abi "Little Miss Personalities".
~Julie Brower, Certified Teen Life Coach, Health Coach & Teen Yoga Teacher, has helped hundreds of teen girls gain knowledge, tools, confidence and courage to make decisions from a place of self-knowledge, self-respect and strength. Through one-on-one coaching, group workshops, events, parties and movement, Julie connects with girls on their level and gets results.