Sex Therapy in New Jersey: What to Expect and How It Can Help by Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D.
- Bergen County Moms
- 1 day ago
- 21 min read
Key Takeaway
Sex therapy is specialized talk therapy that helps individuals and couples address intimacy challenges, sexual dysfunction, communication barriers, and emotional disconnection. At Lukin Center, our relationship therapists provide compassionate, evidence-based support for intimacy concerns across New Jersey. You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong—we help you understand what’s happening and develop practical solutions. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve support for this important part of your well-being.
What Is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy focused on helping individuals and couples address concerns related to sexual health, intimacy, desire, and relationship connection. Contrary to common misconceptions, sex therapy involves conversation and therapeutic exercises—not physical demonstrations or touching.
According to the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), sex therapists help clients explore the emotional, psychological, relational, and sometimes medical factors that impact sexual satisfaction and intimacy. The goal is to enhance sexual well-being and relationship health through evidence-based therapeutic approaches.
Sexual concerns are far more common than most people realize. The Cleveland Clinic reports that approximately 43% of women and 31% of men experience some degree of sexual dysfunction during their lifetimes. The National Institutes of Health notes that many factors—stress, medical conditions, relationship dynamics, past experiences, and life transitions—can impact sexual health and satisfaction.
At Lukin Center, our relationship specialists integrate intimacy and sexual health discussions into couples therapy and individual therapy as needed, ensuring you receive comprehensive support for all aspects of your relationship wellness.
Common Reasons People Seek Sex Therapy
Many people hesitate to discuss intimacy concerns, but addressing these challenges early often prevents more significant relationship issues. Our New Jersey sex therapists help individuals and couples navigate a wide range of concerns.
Sexual Dysfunction & Physical Concerns
Sexual dysfunction encompasses various challenges that can impact quality of life and relationship satisfaction:
Low libido or decreased sexual interest: Loss of desire can stem from hormonal changes, stress, medication side effects, relationship dynamics, or underlying mental health concerns
Erectile dysfunction or difficulty with arousal: Performance anxiety, medical conditions, stress, and relationship factors can all contribute
Difficulty achieving or maintaining orgasm: This concern affects people of all genders and often has both physical and psychological components
Premature ejaculation or orgasming too quickly: Anxiety, performance pressure, and learned patterns can all play a role
Pain during intercourse (dyspareunia or vaginismus): Sexual pain requires both medical evaluation and therapeutic support to address physical and emotional factors
Discrepancy in sexual desire between partners: Mismatched libido is one of the most common concerns couples bring to therapy
Intimacy & Connection Challenges
Beyond specific sexual dysfunctions, many people struggle with broader intimacy concerns:
Feeling emotionally disconnected during physical intimacy
Avoidance of sex or physical touch
Loss of sexual attraction to a long-term partner
Difficulty being vulnerable or present during intimacy
Intimacy issues following infidelity or betrayal
Growing apart physically after major life changes
Different expectations or values around sexuality and frequency
Communication & Emotional Barriers
Healthy sexual relationships require open, honest communication—yet many couples find these conversations incredibly difficult:
Inability to discuss sexual needs, desires, or boundaries
Shame, embarrassment, or guilt around sexuality
Difficulty expressing what feels good or asking for what you want
Fear of rejection, judgment, or criticism from a partner
Anxiety about sexual performance or body image
Unresolved conflict that spills into intimate life
Individual Concerns Affecting Intimacy
Sometimes intimacy challenges stem primarily from individual factors:
Body image concerns and self-consciousness during sex
Past sexual trauma affecting current relationships and intimacy
Anxiety, depression, or stress impacting sexual function and desire
Questions about sexual identity, orientation, or preferences
Compulsive sexual behaviors or pornography concerns
Guilt or shame from religious or cultural messages about sex
Adjustment to physical changes from aging, illness, or disability
If you’re experiencing any of these challenges, sex therapy can help you understand what’s underneath and develop strategies that work for your unique situation.
What Happens During Sex Therapy Sessions
Sex therapy is talk therapy—you discuss concerns, explore patterns, learn communication skills, and develop practical strategies through conversation and therapeutic exercises. Understanding what to expect can help reduce anxiety about starting treatment.
Your First Sex Therapy Session
Comprehensive Assessment
Your first session typically involves a thorough discussion of your concerns, relationship history, relevant medical factors, and therapeutic goals. Your therapist will ask questions to understand:
What brings you to therapy and what you hope to achieve
Your sexual history and current sexual patterns
Relationship dynamics and communication styles
Relevant medical conditions, medications, or physical factors
Past experiences that may be affecting current intimacy
Individual mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, or trauma
Cultural, religious, or family messages about sexuality you’ve internalized
Creating a Safe Space
Sex therapists are trained to discuss sensitive topics with compassion and without judgment. You control the pace of disclosure—you’ll never be pushed to share more than you’re comfortable with. According to the American Psychological Association, the therapeutic relationship itself is one of the most important factors in successful treatment outcomes.
Goal Setting & Treatment Planning
Together with your therapist, you’ll identify specific, achievable goals. These might include improving communication, reducing anxiety around sex, increasing desire, addressing pain, rebuilding intimacy after a breach of trust, or exploring new aspects of your sexuality.
Evidence-Based Approaches Used in Sex Therapy
At Lukin Center, our therapists use proven therapeutic methods tailored to your specific needs:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps identify and change thought patterns and behaviors that interfere with sexual satisfaction. This approach is particularly effective for performance anxiety, negative self-talk, and learned avoidance patterns.
Sensate Focus Exercises
Developed by pioneering sex researchers Masters and Johnson, sensate focus involves structured touching exercises that help couples reconnect with physical sensation, reduce performance pressure, and gradually rebuild intimacy. These exercises are done at home between therapy sessions.
Mindfulness-Based Approaches
Mindfulness techniques help you become more present and aware during intimate moments, reduce anxiety, increase body awareness, and cultivate self-compassion. Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy shows mindfulness significantly improves sexual function and satisfaction.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT addresses the emotional bonds and attachment patterns that underlie sexual connection. This approach is particularly effective for couples experiencing emotional distance or conflict that impacts intimacy.
The Dual Control Model
This framework helps you understand your sexual excitation system (what turns you on) and sexual inhibition system (what interferes with arousal). Understanding these systems allows you to make environmental and relational changes that support better sexual experiences.
Gottman Method Principles
For couples, Gottman-informed approaches improve communication, manage conflict constructively, build emotional connection, and create shared meaning—all of which support healthy sexual intimacy.
What You’ll Work On Between Sessions
Sex therapy involves active participation outside of sessions. Your therapist may assign:
Communication exercises: Structured conversations that create space for vulnerable, honest dialogue about desires, boundaries, and concerns
Sensate focus practices: Gradual touching exercises that remove performance pressure and help you reconnect with physical sensation
Mindfulness practices: Techniques to increase presence, reduce anxiety, and enhance body awareness
Individual reflection: Journaling or self-exploration exercises to understand your own sexuality, desires, and barriers
Educational materials: Reading or videos to provide accurate information about sexual anatomy, function, and pleasure
All homework assignments are tailored to your comfort level, goals, and relationship dynamics. You’re never required to do anything that feels uncomfortable or violates your values.
Common Issues Sex Therapy Addresses
Sex therapy can help with a wide range of concerns at both the individual and couple level. Understanding the breadth of issues therapists address can help you determine if this type of support is right for you.
Desire Discrepancy & Frequency Concerns
One of the most common concerns couples bring to sex therapy is mismatched desire. When one partner wants sex more frequently than the other, it can lead to frustration, rejection, pressure, and growing emotional distance. Sex therapy helps couples understand the factors affecting each person’s desire, improve communication about needs and boundaries, and find mutually satisfying solutions.
Sexual Pain & Physical Discomfort
Pain during intercourse affects many people, particularly women, and can have various causes including medical conditions, insufficient arousal, muscle tension, past trauma, anxiety, or a combination of factors. Sex therapists work collaboratively with medical providers to address both the physical and emotional aspects of sexual pain.
Performance Anxiety
Anxiety about sexual performance—whether related to erection difficulties, concerns about orgasm, worries about body image, or fear of not satisfying a partner—can create a self-fulfilling cycle that makes sexual problems worse. Cognitive-behavioral and mindfulness-based approaches effectively address performance anxiety.
Impact of Life Transitions on Intimacy
Major life changes frequently disrupt sexual relationships:
Becoming parents: Physical recovery, hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, role adjustments, and shifting priorities often impact desire and connection. Our therapists provide specialized support for maternal mental health and postpartum relationship challenges.
Perimenopause and menopause: Hormonal shifts, physical changes, mood fluctuations, and concerns about aging can all affect sexual satisfaction
Chronic illness or disability: Adapting to physical limitations while maintaining intimacy requires creative problem-solving and emotional processing
Career stress and burnout: Work pressures, long hours, and emotional exhaustion can significantly reduce desire and available energy for connection
Aging: Physical changes, health concerns, medication side effects, and shifting priorities affect intimacy across the lifespan
Rebuilding Intimacy After Betrayal
Recovering from infidelity, emotional affairs, or other breaches of trust is challenging. Sex therapy helps couples process the emotional impact of betrayal, rebuild safety and trust, address the factors that contributed to the affair, and gradually reconnect physically when both partners are ready.
Sexual Trauma & Its Impact on Current Relationships
Past sexual trauma—whether from childhood abuse, sexual assault, coercive experiences, or other violations—can significantly affect current intimacy. Trauma-informed sex therapy helps you process these experiences safely, understand how trauma impacts your body and nervous system, communicate your needs to partners, and gradually reclaim your sexuality in a way that feels empowering. Our therapists are trained in trauma therapy and PTSD treatment.
Exploring Sexual Identity & Orientation
Sex therapy provides a safe space to explore questions about sexual orientation, gender identity, preferences, and desires without judgment. This can include:
Coming out to yourself or partners
Navigating non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships
Exploring kink or BDSM interests
Adjusting to gender transition and its impact on sexuality
Reconciling sexuality with cultural or religious values
Our therapists provide LGBTQIA-affirming care grounded in respect, understanding, and celebration of diverse identities and experiences.
Mental Health Concerns Affecting Sexual Function
Anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions significantly impact sexual desire, arousal, and satisfaction. Medications used to treat these conditions can also affect sexual function. Sex therapy addresses both the direct impact of mental health symptoms on sexuality and helps you work with prescribers to optimize medication regimens when needed.
Compulsive Sexual Behaviors
For some people, sexual behaviors become compulsive or addictive, causing distress and interfering with relationships, work, and daily life. This can include compulsive pornography use, serial affairs, or other patterns. Sex therapy helps identify underlying factors driving compulsive behaviors and develop healthier coping strategies. Our practice also offers specialized addiction treatment and substance abuse counseling.
How Sex Therapy Works: The Therapeutic Process
Understanding the structure and flow of sex therapy can help you feel more prepared and comfortable beginning treatment.
Individual vs. Couples Sex Therapy
Individual Sex Therapy
You may benefit from individual sex therapy if:
You’re not currently in a relationship but want to address sexual concerns
Your concerns are primarily personal (body image, past trauma, compulsive behaviors, questions about identity)
You want to work on yourself before involving a partner
Your partner is unavailable or unwilling to attend therapy
Couples Sex Therapy
Couples therapy is appropriate when:
Sexual concerns are primarily relational or involve both partners
Communication about sex is difficult or fraught
You’re experiencing desire discrepancy or conflict around frequency
One partner’s individual concern is significantly impacting the relationship
You want to enhance an already-good sexual relationship
Combined Approach
Sometimes the most effective approach involves both individual and couples sessions. Your therapist will help determine what combination best serves your goals.
Timeline & What to Expect
Early Sessions (Weeks 1-4)
Focus on assessment, goal-setting, psychoeducation about sexual function, and establishing therapeutic rapport. You’ll learn foundational communication skills and may begin simple homework exercises.
Middle Phase (Months 2-4)
Deeper work addressing underlying factors, more complex communication and intimacy exercises, processing emotions and experiences that emerge, and making concrete behavioral changes.
Later Phase (Months 4-6+)
Consolidating progress, addressing remaining concerns, preparing for potential setbacks, and planning for maintaining improvements after therapy ends.
Timeline varies significantly based on the complexity of your concerns, how long issues have persisted, whether medical factors are involved, and how consistently you engage with therapy homework. Some people see meaningful improvement within a few months, while others benefit from longer-term support.
When Medical Consultation Is Needed
Sex therapists are mental health professionals, not medical doctors. If your therapist suspects medical factors are contributing to sexual concerns, they’ll recommend consultation with appropriate specialists:
Primary care physician for general health screening
Gynecologist for female-specific concerns
Urologist for male-specific concerns
Endocrinologist for hormonal issues
Pelvic floor physical therapist for pain or muscle tension
Pain specialist for chronic pain conditions
Our therapists can coordinate with your medical providers to ensure comprehensive care. According to the Mayo Clinic, many sexual concerns have both medical and psychological components, making integrated treatment most effective.
Is Sex Therapy Right for You?
Deciding whether to pursue sex therapy can feel overwhelming. These questions can help clarify whether this type of support might be beneficial.
Signs You Might Benefit from Sex Therapy
Your sex life is causing you significant distress or anxiety
You and your partner have ongoing conflict about sex or intimacy
You’re avoiding physical intimacy or have stopped having sex
One or both partners feel frustrated, rejected, or misunderstood
Sexual concerns are impacting your emotional connection
You’ve tried addressing concerns on your own without success
Past experiences are affecting your current intimate relationships
You feel ashamed, guilty, or confused about your sexuality
Medical issues are impacting your sex life and causing emotional distress
You want to enhance an already-good sexual relationship
“Do We Really Need Therapy?”
Many couples wonder if their concerns are “serious enough” to warrant professional help. Consider this: seeking support early often prevents more significant relationship problems. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy notes that couples wait an average of six years before seeking help for relationship problems—by which time patterns are more entrenched and harder to change.
You don’t need to wait until things are in crisis. Proactive couples therapy strengthens relationships and prevents problems from escalating.
What If My Partner Won’t Go?
If your partner is reluctant or unwilling to attend couples therapy, individual therapy can still help. Many people find that:
Working on themselves improves relationship dynamics
Understanding their own patterns helps them communicate more effectively
Processing their emotions reduces reactivity
Gaining clarity helps them decide how to move forward
Sometimes, when one partner begins individual therapy and the relationship starts improving, the reluctant partner becomes more open to couples work.
What Makes Lukin Center Different
At Lukin Center, we understand that discussing intimacy concerns requires tremendous trust and vulnerability. Our approach ensures you receive the highest quality, most personalized care.
The Lukin Matching Process
Unlike many practices where you choose a therapist from a website, Dr. Konstantin Lukin personally matches every client with the therapist who has the right expertise, approach, and personality for their specific needs. This personalized matching significantly increases the likelihood of successful outcomes.
As Dr. Lukin explains: “I personally match every patient with the provider who has the specific skills, background, training, and personality that will get the very best result. I want to be absolutely sure every patient is working with a professional they like and trust, and who can offer them the best help possible.”
Evidence-Based Treatment Approaches
Our therapists are trained in multiple evidence-based modalities and tailor treatment to your unique situation:
Gottman Method for couples
Mindfulness-based approaches
Sensate focus and other sex-specific interventions
Comprehensive, Integrated Care
As Northern New Jersey’s largest mental health practice, we offer advantages smaller practices can’t match:
Coordinated treatment: If you’re seeing both an individual therapist and a couples therapist, or if you need medication management alongside therapy, our team communicates to ensure seamless care
Specialized expertise: With clinicians specializing in trauma, addiction, maternal mental health, men’s issues, women’s issues, LGBTQIA concerns, and more, we can address all factors affecting your sexual health
Flexibility as needs change: If your needs shift during treatment, we can adjust your treatment plan or match you with a different specialist
Convenient Access Across New Jersey
We offer multiple options to make therapy accessible:
Seven physical locations: Chatham, Englewood, Hoboken, Jersey City, Montclair, Ridgewood, and Westfield
Secure telehealth services: Many clients prefer the privacy and convenience of virtual sessions for discussing intimate concerns
Flexible scheduling: Evening and weekend appointments available
HIPAA-compliant platforms: Your privacy and confidentiality are protected
Common Myths About Sex Therapy
Misconceptions about sex therapy can prevent people from seeking help they need. Let’s address the most common myths.
Myth #1: Sex Therapy Involves Physical Demonstrations or Touching
Reality: Sex therapy is talk therapy. You discuss concerns, explore patterns, learn skills, and develop strategies entirely through conversation. Any exercises you practice happen at home, in private, with your partner—never in the therapist’s office.
Myth #2: Only People with “Serious Problems” Need Sex Therapy
Reality: Many people seek sex therapy to enhance already-good relationships, navigate life transitions, explore new aspects of their sexuality, or improve communication. According to AASECT, proactive work on sexual health is just as valid as addressing specific dysfunctions.
Myth #3: Sex Therapy Is Only for Couples
Reality: Individual sex therapy helps people address personal concerns, process past experiences, build confidence, understand their sexuality, and prepare for future relationships. You don’t need to be in a relationship to benefit.
Myth #4: Talking About Sex with a Stranger Will Be Too Uncomfortable
Reality: Feeling nervous initially is completely normal. Sex therapists are specially trained to discuss these topics comfortably and create environments where sensitive conversations become easier over time. Most clients find their anxiety decreases significantly after the first session.
Myth #5: If We Need Sex Therapy, Our Relationship Is Failing
Reality: Seeking help demonstrates strength, commitment, and willingness to invest in your relationship. Many happy couples use therapy proactively to maintain and enhance connection.
Myth #6: Sex Therapy Is All About Technique
Reality: While practical strategies are part of treatment, sex therapy primarily addresses the emotional, psychological, and relational factors that affect sexual satisfaction. Technique matters far less than connection, communication, and understanding.
Myth #7: My Doctor Can Just Prescribe Medication to Fix Sexual Problems
Reality: While medications can help with some concerns (like erectile dysfunction), many sexual issues have psychological, relational, or trauma-related components that medication alone won’t address. The most effective approach often combines medical and therapeutic interventions.
Preparing for Your First Sex Therapy Session
Knowing what to bring and expect can help reduce anxiety about starting treatment.
What to Bring
Your concerns and questions: Write down what you want to address and questions you have—this can help if nervousness makes it hard to remember during the session
Relevant medical information: Current medications, recent medical evaluations related to sexual concerns, diagnoses that might affect sexual function
Insurance information: If you’re using insurance, bring your card and relevant coverage details
An open mind: Try to approach therapy with curiosity rather than judgment about yourself or your partner
What You Don’t Need to Bring
A complete understanding of your problems and solutions
Certainty about what type of therapy you need
A perfect presentation of your situation
Your partner (for the initial call with Dr. Lukin, if you’re unsure whether individual or couples therapy is appropriate)
Questions to Ask Your Therapist
What is your training and experience with sexual concerns?
What therapeutic approaches do you use?
What will homework assignments involve?
How do you coordinate with medical providers when needed?
What should I do if I feel uncomfortable during a session?
How will we measure progress?
Insurance, Costs, and Practical Matters
Understanding the practical aspects of sex therapy can help you make informed decisions.
Does Insurance Cover Sex Therapy?
Many insurance plans cover therapy for relationship and intimacy concerns. Coverage depends on your specific plan, whether the therapist is in-network, and the diagnosis used for billing. At Lukin Center, we work with most major insurance providers.
To verify your coverage:
Call our office at (201) 862-7871
Visit our insurance information page
Contact your insurance provider directly and ask about coverage for outpatient mental health services
What If I Want to Pay Out of Pocket?
Some clients prefer to pay privately for:
Greater privacy (insurance claims create records)
Freedom to see out-of-network specialists
Avoiding diagnosis requirements
More session frequency flexibility
We offer self-pay options and can provide superbills for potential out-of-network reimbursement.
Confidentiality & Privacy
All therapy sessions are confidential. Your therapist cannot share information about your treatment without your written consent, except in rare circumstances (immediate risk of harm, child abuse, court orders).
For couples therapy, therapists typically establish a “no secrets” policy—information shared in individual sessions may be brought into couples sessions. Your therapist will clarify confidentiality expectations during your first session.
HIPAA regulations protect your health information. Our secure telehealth platform ensures virtual sessions remain private and confidential.
Sex Therapy Across New Jersey: Location-Specific Information
At Lukin Center, we provide sex therapy and intimacy counseling across seven New Jersey locations and via telehealth. Each office offers private, comfortable spaces designed for sensitive conversations.
Sex Therapy in Hoboken, NJ
Our Hoboken location serves residents of downtown Hoboken, the waterfront area, and communities accessible via PATH train. We provide warm, judgment-free support for relationship challenges, intimacy concerns, sexual dysfunction, and communication issues. Convenient for professionals and couples navigating stress, desire discrepancies, or connection challenges.
Hoboken Office: 80 River St, Suite 302, Hoboken, NJ 07030 | (201) 409-0345
Sex Therapy in Jersey City, NJ
Our Jersey City office supports diverse individuals and couples throughout Journal Square, Hamilton Park, downtown Jersey City, and surrounding neighborhoods. Our therapists address sexual concerns with cultural sensitivity and LGBTQIA-affirming approaches.
Jersey City Office: 75 Montgomery St, Suite 502, Jersey City, NJ 07302 | (201) 409-0331
Sex Therapy in Englewood, NJ
Our Englewood location provides accessible care to Bergen County residents seeking support for intimacy challenges, sexual dysfunction, relationship strain, and trauma-related sexual concerns.
Englewood Office: 1 Engle St, Suite 202, Englewood, NJ 07631 | (201) 409-0376
Sex Therapy in Ridgewood, NJ
In Ridgewood, we offer a calm, private environment for couples and individuals addressing performance anxiety, desire discrepancies, communication barriers, or exploring their sexuality.
Ridgewood Office: 20 Wilsey Square, Ridgewood, NJ 07450 | (201) 862-7871
Sex Therapy in Montclair, NJ
Our Montclair therapists specialize in relationship repair, intimacy therapy, sexual health, and trauma-informed care for individuals and couples throughout Essex County.
Montclair Office: 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Suite 27, Montclair, NJ 07043 | (973) 920-3160
Sex Therapy in Chatham, NJ
Chatham clients receive compassionate support for sexual concerns, relationship challenges, stress management, and emotional wellness in a comfortable, discreet setting.
Chatham Office: 97 Main St, Suite 102, Chatham, NJ 07928 | (973) 782-1275
Sex Therapy in Westfield, NJ
Our Westfield office offers evidence-based therapy for individuals and couples navigating desire discrepancies, intimacy barriers, sexual pain, performance anxiety, and communication challenges.
Westfield Office: 128 S Euclid Ave, Westfield, NJ 07090 | (908) 509-8336
Telehealth Sex Therapy Throughout New Jersey
Many clients prefer virtual sessions for the privacy and convenience of discussing intimate concerns from home. Our secure, HIPAA-compliant platform ensures confidentiality while eliminating commute time and allowing more flexible scheduling.
Taking the First Step
Reaching out for support around intimacy concerns requires courage and vulnerability. Whether you’re navigating specific sexual challenges, communication barriers, trauma-related concerns, or simply want to enhance connection, therapy provides a clear path forward.
At Lukin Center, we understand that every person and relationship is unique. Our therapists create judgment-free spaces where you can explore sensitive topics, gain understanding, and develop practical solutions tailored to your goals and values.
Getting Started Is Simple
Step 1: Contact Us
Call (201) 862-7871 or request an appointment online. You’ll speak briefly with Dr. Lukin about your concerns.
Step 2: Personalized Matching
Dr. Lukin will match you with a therapist who has the right expertise, training, and personality for your specific situation.
Step 3: Begin Therapy
Start treatment at your own pace, either in-person at one of our seven NJ locations or through secure telehealth.
You don’t have to navigate these concerns alone. Call (201) 862-7871 or contact us today to take the first step.
Frequently Asked Questions About Sex Therapy
What exactly happens during a sex therapy session?
Sex therapy sessions involve conversation between you and your therapist. You’ll discuss your concerns, relationship patterns, emotions, and experiences. Your therapist may provide education about sexual function, teach communication skills, suggest exercises to practice at home, and help you process underlying emotional or psychological factors. Sessions never involve physical demonstrations, nudity, or touching.
How is sex therapy different from regular couples therapy?
Sex therapy specifically focuses on sexual and intimacy concerns, with specialized training in sexual dysfunction, desire, pleasure, and physical intimacy. Regular couples therapy addresses broader relationship dynamics like communication, conflict, and emotional connection. Many therapists integrate both approaches, and the boundaries between them can be fluid. At Lukin Center, our relationship therapists address sexual concerns as part of comprehensive couples work.
Can I do sex therapy if I’m not in a relationship?
Absolutely. Individual sex therapy helps people address personal concerns like past trauma affecting current intimacy, body image and confidence issues, questions about sexual identity or orientation, compulsive sexual behaviors, difficulty with arousal or orgasm, anxiety about dating and intimacy, and preparation for future healthy relationships.
Is sex therapy covered by insurance in New Jersey?
Many insurance plans cover therapy for relationship and intimacy concerns. Coverage depends on your specific plan and the diagnosis used for billing. Contact our office at (201) 862-7871 to verify your coverage, or visit our insurance information page. We also offer self-pay options and can provide superbills for potential reimbursement.
How long does sex therapy take to work?
Timeline varies based on the complexity of concerns, how long issues have persisted, individual and relational factors, consistency with homework assignments, and whether medical factors are involved. Some people notice improvement within a few months, while others benefit from longer-term support (6-12 months or more). Your therapist will discuss realistic expectations during your initial sessions.
Will I have to do exercises or homework between sessions?
Yes, most sex therapy involves practice between sessions. This might include communication exercises, sensate focus touching activities, mindfulness practices, journaling or self-reflection, or reading educational materials. All assignments are tailored to your comfort level, and you’re never required to do anything that feels uncomfortable or violates your values.
What if I feel too embarrassed to talk about sex?
Feeling nervous or embarrassed initially is completely normal. Sex therapists are specially trained to discuss these topics comfortably and create safe, non-judgmental environments. Most clients find their discomfort decreases significantly after the first session. You control the pace of disclosure and can take breaks if conversations become overwhelming.
Can sex therapy help with low desire or mismatched libido?
Yes. Desire discrepancy is one of the most common concerns sex therapy addresses. Your therapist will explore factors affecting each partner’s desire (stress, hormones, relationship dynamics, past experiences, mental health), improve communication about needs and boundaries, address underlying relationship issues, and help you find mutually satisfying solutions.
What should I do if my partner won’t attend sex therapy?
Individual therapy can still help even if your partner is reluctant. You can work on your own patterns, improve communication skills, process your emotions, gain clarity about the relationship, and often positively influence relationship dynamics. Sometimes when one partner begins therapy and things start improving, the reluctant partner becomes more open to couples work.
Do you provide LGBTQIA-affirming sex therapy?
Yes. Our therapists provide affirming, knowledgeable care for LGBTQIA individuals and couples. We understand the unique challenges related to sexual identity, coming out, non-traditional relationships, and navigating sexuality in the context of marginalization. Learn more about our LGBTQIA therapy services.
Can sex therapy help if medical problems are causing sexual issues?
Yes. While sex therapists can’t treat medical conditions directly, we address the emotional, psychological, and relational impact of physical health issues on sexuality. We can coordinate with your medical providers, help you adapt to physical changes, develop alternative forms of intimacy, process grief or frustration about changes, and support both you and your partner through medical challenges.
What if past sexual trauma is affecting my current relationships?
Trauma-informed sex therapy helps you process past experiences safely, understand how trauma affects your nervous system and body, communicate your needs to current partners, develop coping strategies for triggers, and gradually reclaim your sexuality in ways that feel empowering. Our therapists are trained in trauma therapy and use approaches like EMDR when appropriate.
How do I know if I need sex therapy or just regular couples counseling?
If sexual or intimacy concerns are a primary issue, sex therapy makes sense. If broader relationship dynamics are the main concern, regular couples therapy may be appropriate. Often the boundaries blur, and many therapists address both. At Lukin Center, Dr. Lukin will help you determine the best fit during your initial conversation.
Is telehealth sex therapy as effective as in-person?
Research shows telehealth therapy is as effective as in-person for most concerns. Many clients prefer virtual sessions for intimacy concerns because of the privacy and comfort of being in their own space. Our secure platform ensures confidentiality. Learn more about our telehealth services.
What credentials should I look for in a sex therapist?
Look for licensed mental health professionals (psychologists, licensed counselors, social workers, marriage and family therapists) with specialized training in sexual health. AASECT certification indicates advanced training, though many excellent therapists provide sex therapy without this specific credential. At Lukin Center, our therapists hold advanced degrees and have specialized training in relationship and sexual health.
Additional Resources & Related Services
Related Mental Health Services
Common Issues We Treat
Therapeutic Approaches
External Resources
American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT)
American Psychological Association – Sexuality and Sexual Orientation
SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (for mental health and substance use concerns)
Ready to Get Started?
Sexual and intimacy concerns affect your well-being, relationship satisfaction, and quality of life. You deserve compassionate, expert support to address these challenges and build the connection you want.
At Lukin Center, our New Jersey therapists provide evidence-based, judgment-free care for individuals and couples navigating all aspects of sexual health and intimacy.
Take the first step today.
📞 Call (201) 862-7871
📍 Seven NJ locations + secure telehealth
You don’t have to navigate these concerns alone. We’re here to help.
Our compassionate therapists are ready to support you in Chatham, Englewood, Hoboken, Jersey City, Montclair, Ridgewood, and Westfield. Find your best fit therapist by calling us at 201-862-7871.
Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and researcher specializing in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). He is the Director and Co-Founder of the Lukin Center, northern New Jersey’s premiere evidence-based psychotherapy practice. The Lukin Center emphasizes evidence-based treatments such as emotion-focused therapy for couples, and cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapies for children, adolescents, and adults. Since its inception, the Lukin Center has grown to include testing and assessment as well as medication management services. As a therapist, Dr. Lukin focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques – including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema-focused therapy, and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) – to offer a personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, he works with his clients to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth to which they are committed. Dr. Lukin has extensive experience in private practice, conducting outpatient therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. He also has extensive clinical and research experience with people of all ages and their families, including those diagnosed as severely and persistently mentally ill, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He has co-led groups for children, adolescents, and adults diagnosed with OCD in an outpatient setting. He is trained and experienced in administering a variety of psychological test batteries including neuropsychological, cognitive, and personality assessments, and he has conducted diagnostic and intake interviews and prepared evaluation reports. Dr. Lukin is a graduate of the Honors College at SUNY at Stony Brook, and earned his doctorate from Fairleigh Dickinson University.
20 Wilsey Square | Ridgewood, NJ 07450 | (551) 427-2458
1 Engle Street, Suite 202 | Englewood, NJ 07631 | (201) 409-0376
80 River Street, Suite 302 | Hoboken, NJ 07030 | (917) 903-1901
7 Montgomery Street, Suite 502 | Jersey City, NJ 07302 | (201) 577-8124
51 Upper Montclair Plaza | Montclair, NJ 07034 | (973) 787-4470
128 S. Euclid Avenue | Westfield, NJ 07090 | (908) 509-8336
97 Main Street, Suite 102 | Chatham, NJ 07928 | (973) 782-1275