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Reasons Why: Making Room for the Outliers by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach


Reasons Why: Making Room for the Outliers by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach, Bergen County Moms

This morning I watched as the V of flying geese changed multiple times to include them all. When one falls behind, another takes its place. The V is an evolving thing. It has the room and flexibility to include all the geese.

What if we humans could, collectively, be more like geese?

How many have felt like outliers? A little different, quirky, intense, nerdy? Maybe there’s a physical or emotional challenge? I bet the vast majority of us have felt this way at one time or another. The outliers.

How many have experienced bullying? I have a recollection of something in 5th or 6th grade.

And then there are the bystanders. The power structure is real.

I’m finally watching “13 Reasons Why”. Yes, it took me this long to watch it and it’s horrifying. There are some inspiring moments, too, but mostly awful.

By Season 3 it feels like everything that could go horribly wrong, does. Is it realistic for it to play out as it does? I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter. In the end, we know these things are happening.

I could say that it begins at home, and there’s truth to that. Yet the problem, the tragedy of it, seems to be endemic to humans and our culture. We talk a good game, but how do we as societies break it down and phase it out?

Moses and the children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. After 40 years, those who were slaves, with the slave mentality, would have mostly died out. The new generation would be strong and fighters, no longer victims.

I think it’s going to take many generations for noticeable change.

How do we bring everyone into the circle? Into the V like the geese?

As always, I pull myself back to the present (instead of wandering through an unknown future). It happens one person, one moment at a time. Let’s start there, with the purpose and intention of shaping a better world for all of us. Every day. With all people.


Our power is always in the present moment. There's room for everyone.

P.S. Nobody is an outlier in Connected Moms and Teens, my private FB group. Please join us HERE.



Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.


Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.






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