“I want mommy,” my 6-year-old says almost every single hour of the day. “NO Mommy do it,” my two-year-old yells emphatically to get out of her high chair. Everyone else is shunned. “NO! MOMMY!”. It is both easy and difficult to be loved like this. It is hard in the fact that breaks are so few and far between but easy because, well…of course. It feels good that ALL the time I put into my children is given back tenfold with their need and love for me. But sometimes….
Oh sometimes….
Our appreciation for it is missed, because we are overstimulated and tired. Or maybe we are having a hard day and one of your 1500 friends from Facebook is having a great one?! It is hard to appreciate the “hard,” during those moments. When everything is coming at you.
I took a spin class this morning. This amazing, inspiring teacher said something that invoked something in my heart. It led me to my computer. She said, “trading expectation for appreciation allows us to live, focus and enjoy the present moment rather than looking forward with expectations that may or may not come to fruition…” –Sue Young
I spent the entire class in tears, for so many reasons. Too many to name. Too many friends battling something. Too much.
It also resonated as a Mom. I definitely think we need to be reminded to appreciate the here and now.
As moms, are we trading expectations for appreciation? For example, when we see something on social media, do we become affected? Are we trying to live our best life or keep up with others who might be “showing us” more; showing us their best self. Snapshots or images of them doing more and being more. In turn, do we feel unfocused? Unfulfilled? Do we put expectations on ourselves that are unrealistic for our present moment?
When our child is yelling “MOMMY,” and crying to be picked up just as you are making dinner, while someone else might be having a picnic with a beautiful cheese spread, are we feeling like we missed the mark?! Do we expect ourselves to be able to do the same instead of appreciating something great in our life?
Perhaps…
I have spent this past year getting back to the nitty gritty. Realizing that what makes me happy might not be the same thing that makes someone else happy. I have spent a lot of time weeding through these “images” and realizing that what someone might put forward is NOT reality. It is something they are presenting to us. Why? Well, maybe they want to get something from us? A like. A product. For us to believe. To buy into what they are feeding us. Whatever it may be. But, we should realize that it should not affect the expectations we have on ourselves, our bottom line. Because what we are doing is enough. Ding, ding. It is my mantra. It has to be. And I need to be reminded of that when I’m reminded that being just a mom isn’t enough in some people’s eyes.
But I have 6 eyes who think it is.
I have spent a lot of time realizing that appreciation is so much more effective than expectations. Our world is so different now, yes. And it is easy to forget the simple. It is so incredibly easy to put useless expectations on ourselves. It is much more admirable, however to be able to sit with ourselves in our own gratitude and forget about everyone else.
Can we vow to do this?
Can we vow to be grateful and appreciative of the now? Of our moment? Without shouting it from the rooftop. Can we just quietly appreciate our children and ourselves, the life we have created?
Because I know one thing. My children will not be yelling “MOMMY DO IT,” forever…
Noreen Heffernan, Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR , Writer, Growing Ladies and Beautycounter Consultant,
Noreen.heffernan@gmail.com