You know that expression “tough love”? It’s hard on the kids AND it’s hard on the parents. If you’re a people pleaser, saying no and setting boundaries can be really hard. I know. I was the ultimate people pleaser. It’s not that you’ve failed, it’s that you’ve been programmed to avoid confrontation. Backing off and giving in feels so much easier… in the moment. But in the long run, limits and boundaries are what strengthen your kids. (You see what happens when there are none.) It’s hard, and it is possible! It takes better words and tone, and not taking their reactions personally. It is doable. One step at a time. Your kids will fight you now and thank you later. I was the ultimate people pleaser. If I can improve, so can you. Let’s talk about how to get this done even though it’s scary. (Email me at fern@fernweis.com)
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.