Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…With Ourselves by Randi Levin, CPC, Life Transition Coach

Updated: Nov 14, 2019



We all know that breaking up is hard to do, especially if we are walking away from our relationship with ourselves!

Wait…What? Yes, you read this correctly. Breaking up with who we know ourselves to be should be mandatory at least once a decade, maybe even more often!

While I am not suggesting divorcing oneself, I am all in favor of a mini break from our minds, just enough of a journey to reconnect us to that which may now be important. That way, when we do get back together with ourselves, we do so with the ability to recognize and step away from our fears. Refreshing our message may require us to separate from being our best friends just long enough to take a good look in the mirror of life and catch our own reflections.

Let’s face it, we all get stuck in our heads and also stuck in the revolving doors that we spin through daily on our way through life. Think of how refreshing it would be to take a breather from the norm, from the tried and true and security of knowing ourselves, and dare to experiment with a new relationship based on a more powerful, refocused you. Breaking up with ourselves is the perfect opportunity to jump past our limiting beliefs about who we are and what we can accomplish because it affords us each the ability to create a new perspective. Utilizing a “what if,” mentality can be very motivating, because daring to dream takes us on a trip away from our comfort zone and allows us to imagine the possibilities and choices that may be in front of us, yet overlooked due to fear, complacency or time.

What if?

  • What if I had three wishes that could be granted, what would they be?

  • What if I were 85 years old? What one thing would I want to be able to tell my grandchildren I accomplished?

  • What if I were 10 years younger, what decisions would I make?

  • What if I were in college right now instead of at mid life? What would I want 20 year old me to know?

  • What if money were no object, how would I spend my days?

  • What if the objective of today...is today? What would I accomplish if there were only one day on the calendar?

Questioning our thought processes allows us to turn the page in the book of life we are currently reading. This is tough love! Being an observer is difficult when we are busy doing and not thinking. Stepping away from ourselves long enough to re-evaluate what is most meaningful to us is a break steeped in best intentions for fulfilling growth and rejuvenation.

It was Walt Disney who said it best, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” Taking a break from the constant voices in our heads, from the realities of our every day, can provide us with the space and time to imagine. This time out from ourselves, whether a day or a month in duration may seem counterintuitive, but in actuality breaking up is tough love, the type of self-love that leads to new ideas and change. When we reboot our thoughts to be in sync with our values and our experiences our choices become more crystalized. Our goals become more realistic and redefined with who we may be now, not with who we may have been before.

Dare to dream! Dare to be curious about life! Dare to mix it up!

Reinvent, Refresh, ReYou!


Randi Levin, CPC, founder & CEO, Randi Levin Coaching – is a nationally recognized transitional life strategist, Fortune 500 keynote, author, and reinvention expert. Randi Levin Coaching supports women in becoming legends in their own lives! Legacy is a mindset and a muscle that when flexed can become a power tool for change and redirection in the current moment. Randi is a catalyst toward a shift in perspectives in regard to fear, growth, purpose and overall success—all key elements of her Signature GPS Coaching System. Randi Levin Coaching is widely quoted and featured in top media outlets. She is a featured expert for Thrive Global, DivorceForce, The Three Tomatoes, Women for One, and Better After 50. Her workshops have been featured in The Wall Street Journal and you may have seen her in HuffPost, Reader’s Digest, Business Insider, American Express OPEN Forum, and Working Mother Magazine. She is regularly a guest on top podcasts and radio shows. Randi is a contributing author in the anthology series Get RESULTS!

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