To All Moms,
With almost 23 years of motherhood under my belt, I have been both a teacher and a student of the process. I think that we most often consider ourselves in the role of “mom” as the ones in charge of modeling behavior and imparting wisdom, yet I urge you to re-evaluate that. I feel as though we seldom stop to consider the impact that our kids actually have on us. It’s a lot of responsibility to be someone’s mother. We don’t fully realize the scope of the job until we are on it and in it. Here is a sampling of what I have learned along the road of motherhood and how it can best be applied to everyday personal and professional life.
Live in the moment: I know it sounds cliché AND it is so, so true! There will never be another moment just like this one. Children change and grow up so fast. In fact, life moves so very quickly. When we are focused only on being at the next stage of parenthood, or our children being old enough to do X, we miss the nuances and charm of today.
Adult application: Win your battle with being busy. Slow things down so that you can lean into today and focus your energy and your to-do on making this moment count. Don’t rob yourself of your awareness of “now” in favor of the “what if’s” of tomorrow, or your regrets of yesterday. What can you do with today? Feel it, experience it…all in …all 5 senses.
Let go: There comes a time in all relationships with our children that we have to stop being the manager in charge and start being a spectator. Yes, it means things will not all go as planned. Yes, it will mean that the possibility of imperfect may creep in. What it will also ensure is that your kids will have the ability to make decisions, to take or not take the trusted course. With those choices also come consequences and the ability to deal with and respond to the results of our own behaviors. When we swoop in for the save, it is as if we are placing a pacifier in a teenager’s mouth. Letting go allows growing up to take place.
Adult application: In order to keep on growing as parents and people we need to have the ability to give up controlling outcomes. When we manage how everything turns out and seek only perfection, we limit our ability to grow and to experience all aspects of life. Paradoxically, loosening the reins allows us to better steer with clarity, openness and possibility.
Be Curious: Think about how many times your kids have asked you questions! How many times have you answered with “Because I said so!” or “I don’t know!” To question is to have wonder. Inquiry breeds understanding, growth, experimentation and renewal. Thirsty for knowledge, for the “how-to-do-it” of life, our children play with possibility, challenge our wisdom, and come to the lab of life ready to run the experiment.
Adult Application: Need to know and question what you can do. Ask where you can be of service. Start every day with a clean slate and an open mind ready to challenge yourself and others and ready to inspire and be inspired. Too many of us get stuck recycling our same old ways. Being curious gives us permission to push past fears, familiarity, and limiting beliefs in order to transform and change perspectives. Once we have let go of what no longer aligns with our lives and our hearts, being curious allows us to welcome in what does.
Keep in mind that Mother’s Day is everyday, not a Hallmark card sending frenzy, but a 365-day commitment to showing up. We show up as moms in sickness and in health, in love and in spirit, in good times and in bad. There is no day off. There is no paycheck. There are no returns accepted or expiration dates stamped.
Motherhood is the ultimate commitment. It tests our hearts, challenges our minds and gives back in ways we cannot even begin to explain. So celebrate yourself. Everyday. Be present, let go of what does not matter, let in the richness of what does, and continue to be motivated not only by your children, but also by yourself. Learning on the job…comes at no additional cost!
Randi Levin CPC, founder & CEO, Randi Levin Coaching– is a certified transitional life strategist, author, inspirational speaker, and reinvention expert. She holds a BS Degree in Journalism from The University of Maryland and a professional coaching certification from The Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching. She believes that we have the choice and the power to create our own legacy each and every day. Randi utilizes her Signature GPS Coaching System as a catalyst for her clients to clarify and refresh their journeys, giving them support and permission to pivot, to change, and to ask, “What’s next?” Randi is a contributor and featured expert for Huffington Post, Thrive Global, DivorceForce, Identity Magazine, and a variety of national publications and podcasts. Randi is the creator of Recoloring Life Workshops as featured in The Wall Street Journal. She is also a co-author in the best selling anthology series Get Results! – A toolbox for change and transition.