The latest and greatest in business-building is to ‘create a movement’. Having a movement, a mission, means that the people who share your belief will follow and support you.
So I asked myself the question: What do I believe? What do I believe that is woven into my very being, that I want to share with you?
I believe that your family is where the most important learning takes place; that you would do anything to see your children thrive and be happy; that sometimes fear makes you do crazy things, and you don’t want to be scared anymore.
I believe that we’re all in this together; that you know more than you think you do about raising your kids; that every one of us is here to make a positive difference; that every person has a “unique potential” (thank you, Hyde School) — only it takes time, effort, risk, failure, resilience and trust to figure it out.
I believe that you have to take a stand if you’re going to accomplish anything; that you’re not meant to do any of this alone.
I believe that your kids love you more than you know, even when they say, “I hate you”; that your parents loved you more than you know, especially when they said “no”.
I believe that you have the answers. What you need is courage and support to follow through… because taking the tough decisions is… well, it’s tough.
I believe that you have more in common with every person on the planet than you can ever imagine, only you are so busy comparing and judging that you don’t take advantage of opportunities to find and enjoy common ground.
I believe that we all want pretty much the same things out of life, and we let stupid stuff get in the way of loving each other; and that the strongest people are the ones who ask for (and accept) help.
How many of these do YOU believe? Is there anything here that does NOT resonate with you?
This question, “What do you believe?” is an important one. The answers are even more important. And what you do with those answers is critical, for you and your kids. State your truth and take a stand. It’s the only thing that has ever created real and lasting change.
Reflection and Action
1) As a family, make a list of ideals and values that you believe in. Include everyone’s thoughts and suggestions. Make no judgments.
2) Have a discussion about which ones are held by all, or most, members of the family.
3) As a group, make a ‘family shield’, including graphics and words to represent your family’s shared values.
4) Be amazed at how much you and your kids agree upon. Know that you have been instilling these values and beliefs over the years. Their words and actions may contradict it, but it’s all in there. It’s just that they’re still kids and have some growing up to do.
5) Use your family shield as a reminder of what you all agreed was important. Add to it, or modify, as needed.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.