In my world, a curious question is designed to help your teens think for themselves and learn to problem-solve.
A curious question is not:
checking up on your teen.
a way to make yourself feel better that things are getting done.
to help you feel empowered, that you’re doing something.
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Because curious questions are not about you.
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Let me say that again. Curious questions are not about you.
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They are entirely about your child. They are questions that nudge your child into learning what they need; what makes them feel better; what resources are available; how to get into action.
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They can be used in a variety of situations: school work, sports, relationships and more. Here are some examples to get you started:
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What information do you need?
What’s one small step you can take to get started?
Who can you ask for help?
Is there someone you need to have a conversation with?
How do you feel when you think about this?
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What questions can you add to this list?
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If your goal is to raise your teen to be a self-sufficient, happy adult (and I assume it is), this is the way to go. Get curious!
P.S. I love to help parents prepare for the teen years, instead of making it up as you go. Contact me to schedule your complimentary consultation at fern@fernweis.com or join my private FB group HERE.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.