There are no secrets to being a ‘good’ parent. There are no truly “new” ideas out there. It’s all about a few basic principles: respect, responsibility, truth, flexibility, resilience, courage. Show it in words and actions so your kids know exactly how it looks and sounds. Those are the building blocks. Do them with greater and greater frequency and watch things change.
If you must, read some books, go to some workshops… but remember, there is no substitute for walking the walk and talking the talk. So what are you waiting for? Every moment of every day is a new chance to do it again, and do it better.
As a parent, coach, and teacher, I know that repetition is the mother of skill. (No, it doesn’t mean you repeat yourself again and again with your kids. It’s not that kind of repetition.) It means you practice, practice, practice. And being a coach doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. I’m on the road, just like you.
Every day brings new challenges. No two situations are identical. Learn a new way to approach something and apply it to a situation. Evaluate how effective it was. Modify if necessary and do it again. Voila! This is true learning. It is also true teaching. Your kids are watching, even if they are rolling their eyes or ignoring you. They are hungry for you to guide them, even when they tell you otherwise.
Fern Weis is a parent coach, specializing in supporting parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations (including underachieving, disrespectful behavior, addiction recovery and more). With parent-centered coaching, Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life’s challenges. Learn more about coaching and workshops at www.fernweis.com. And while you’re there, download a free report, “Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk.”