Seeking Order by Noreen Heffernan

Updated: Jan 14, 2019



Whenever I see a mom and I say “Happy Back to School,” they smile so big and bright that I have to look away. It is so painfully bright. Blinding. I think it is happiness. Maybe relief?

We get so sick of the routine and then we crave the routine. We wish for the end of school and then we decide that we NEED back to school. NOW!

Everything gets out of order and then we decide that we need order.

It can’t continue to go on like this…you know? Summer. It cannot continue. It is time for it to end.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. Life. (Are my kids fighting over the new toy for the umpteenth time?) And sometimes maybe I do it a little bit right. (All three kids swinging on their swings, smiling). It is the push and pull of life, the ebb and flow. Ups and downs. Oh yes. You have to love the ups and downs. The truth is, nobody can live in the “ups” all the time. It isn’t reality. All of us, any of us. I mean, sometimes I feel “on” and sometimes I feel really, really “off.” Sometimes we got it, chattering away, stopping the fights dead in their tracks with patience. And sometimes, we get a cold sore and decide we cannot deal with another thing. Sometimes they swing with smiles and sometimes I become the wicked witch of America. Ebbs.And.Flows.

I crave order, as a mom of three young kids. It is the only thing that can get me through sometimes. Bed time routines, morning rituals, and so on and so forth.

School is order. I always feel restless at the end of the summer because my rope starts rapidly fraying. It’s spinning and spinning. School…Help! And so, here comes the school year, kissing me straight on the mouth with hope. Coming to the rescue just when I need rescuing. Picking up where I left off. Giving me order. Sending me on my way with a bit of time.

I love it.

I have two of my three girls going full days now. I think it is really great. Staying busy. Learning. Doing all the things that I can’t do because I am grabbing a toddler from the top of the counter before she dives head first into the sink. I’m too busy saving lives.

I know it won’t always be like this. I won’t always be so distracted. I won’t always have half conversations. But for now, I’m thankful for school. I’m thankful for the order that comes with it. I’m thankful for nap time. And I’m thankful for the teachers who not only teach my kids how to learn, but also how to hear and how to act. God knows sometimes I am even failing at that. (Cue my 5 year old grabbing things out of people’s hands without asking). Her teacher will nip that in the bud better than I ever can. Thanks in advance teacher!

I hope everyone has a smooth back to school week.

I am a little nervous because my 5 year old is starting Kindergarten. It already feels too quick for this. I can already have tears thinking of it. Because as much as I am ready for school, I’m not ready for the changes that come as they enter a new chapter in their lives. I’m entering it too. And I know there are ebbs and flows to life. It is part of our journey. I just hope for the highs to outweigh the lows. Because they do. They certainly do. They do for all of us if we have children. It is a hard thing, this adulting. You know, pretending we got it. But, one thing is always real. And that is, our children.

Happy Back to School. Smile Bright!


Noreen Heffernan, Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies, and Sales Consultant for Beautycounter.

#Mommy39wood

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