Que Sera Sera by Noreen Heffernan


“Let Go and Let God”

I’m not a super religious person but lately this quote has been stuck in my head. I feel like the transition from pre-school to kindergarten is taking more of a toll on me than my daughter. I don’t know how any mom can do it…just let your kid go to school and fend for themselves. It’s funny if you think about it, not ‘ha ha’ funny, but funny in that you are seriously letting go of all of the control you had when they were babies and toddlers. I mean, a barrel of laughs.

I’m cutting myself some serious slack because I’m pregnant and hormonal, but the idea that my daughter can be left out, is seriously one to throw me in a tailspin. I can see in the distant light how other moms can go a little batty if their kid is picked on or left out of things. I mean, I can see it. I wouldn’t be the one to do it, (she says now) but I can see how it could potentially happen. Privately though, I can have a field day about it.

I’m lucky because my daughter doesn’t seem to care (right now) but I can foresee issues happening in the future. This is when I feel like I need to take a deep breath and let go. I can only steer the controls from home, as I tuck my daughter into bed. I can reiterate lessons and try my best, but I guess this is the time when we, as parents, have to just let the chips fall where they may fall. Yuck! We can hope they fall in perfect harmony but let’s be honest, they mostly fall into a bowl of chex mix; messy, without rhyme or reason, and unable to make sense of it.

And we can’t do a damn thing about it.

The thing is, she is happy. She talks about school in a positive way. She is slowly making friends and feeling her way through the new atmosphere. It is all good. But, this is a transition and she is transitioning in some positive ways and some not so positive ways. I guess we all are.

All we can ever do is our best. That is what I tell her. That is what I tell myself. Is that what you tell your children? And to the Moms of older kids, how do you deal with seeing your children be left out of things? Does it break your heart when they are old enough to realize how devastating it can be?

How did we survive childhood?

The answer is that we did. We experienced it all. We experienced the ups and downs of our childhood and teen years. We knew what it was like to be disappointed. We knew what it was like to be left out. We managed to deal with it all. At the end of the day, the things that you get left out of at 5 years old or even 12, pale in comparison to what you experience as an adult. Everything gets exponentially harder the older you get. So, I guess we have to cherish these little problems and know that they are not that big. Look, our children will grow to be better and stronger if they are left out or disappointed. They will build their character that way. They will able to deal.with.life. What is it that they say; you cannot enjoy the sweet without the sour.

As parents, it is our job to ease their pain and help them see perspective. Let them have an ear or a punching bag. It is our job to focus on the positive, build up their strengths, and let it go. What a concept??!! I think maybe we can even do that in our own life. I know I can. I know I’m trying to do that now, as I prepare to have another baby. Let go and let God.

In the end, the biggest thing our children need is our support. They got it. The rest will happen as it will. “Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be. The Future’s not ours to see.

Que Sera, Sera…”

~Noreen Heffernan,Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies

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