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#MarriageStrong Project : Spend Time Alone (Week 2) by Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D.

Updated: Feb 28, 2019




Intimate relationships are often one of the happiest portions of a person’s life. Romantic relationships can keep you going on tough days and ground you to what matters most.


Whether you’ve been married for 10 years or 5 months, however, every relationship can benefit from intentional action to improve its functionality, and each member’s enjoyment of the relationship and time spent together.


These actions don’t necessarily need to be extravagant in nature, but rather can be accomplished in a few minutes each day. Each week I will offer one action that can immediately improve your relationship, for both of your benefit.


Week 1 | Actively Listen


Week 2 | Spend Time Alone


Spend alone time with your partner. With busy careers or big families to spend time with, spending time alone with one another, without interruptions or intrusions can really strengthen a couple’s connection to one another. Removing distractions can improve the quality of the time you spend together, and give you the space to engage in activities that you know bring you happiness, peace, or excitement. Planning for such time can also add excitement to your day to day life. For example, looking forward to a dinner date on a night when you were able to get a sitter, or planning to watch a movie together after the kids get to sleep gives you a shared experience to anticipate.


Stay connected!



Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in Ridgewood and Hoboken, NJ. He has extensive clinical and research experience spanning individuals of all ages, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He specializes in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and relationship problems. His therapeutic approach focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help patients effectively address personal challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques to offer a personalized approach tailored to each patient. He has been trained in cognitive-behavioral, dialectical behavior, schema-focused, and emotionally focused therapy, and has also been involved with research projects throughout his career, including two National Institute of Mental Health-funded studies. He is a member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, New Jersey Psychological Association, Northeast Counties Association of Psychologists, New York State Psychological Association, The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, The New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, the International OCD Foundation, the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACSB) and a regular contributor to Psychology Today.