#MarriageStrong Project : Flirt (Week 4) by Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D.

Updated: Mar 7, 2019



Intimate relationships are often one of the happiest portions of a person’s life. Romantic relationships can keep you going on tough days and ground you to what matters most.

Whether you’ve been married for 10 years or 5 months, however, every relationship can benefit from intentional action to improve its functionality, and each member’s enjoyment of the relationship and time spent together.


These actions don’t necessarily need to be extravagant in nature, but rather can be accomplished in a few minutes each day. Each week I will offer one action that can immediately improve your relationship, for both of your benefit.


Week 1 | Actively Listen

Week 2 | Spend Time Alone

Week 3 | Acknowledge Each Other’s Contributions


Week 4 | Flirt With Each Other, Yes Flirt.


Physical or sexual touch is great when it is light and fun and can remind you of the intimate connection you share together. Even resting your hand on your partners back, giving them a squeeze as you pass in the bathroom getting ready for work, or holding a hug a little tighter can be exciting and remind you of the physical things you enjoy together. Try focusing on what drew you to your partner in the first place; complement them, or remind them of what you find attractive about them.


Stay connected!



Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in Ridgewood and Hoboken, NJ. He has extensive clinical and research experience spanning individuals of all ages, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He specializes in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and relationship problems. His therapeutic approach focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help patients effectively address personal challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques to offer a personalized approach tailored to each patient. He has been trained in cognitive-behavioral, dialectical behavior, schema-focused, and emotionally focused therapy, and has also been involved with research projects throughout his career, including two National Institute of Mental Health-funded studies. He is a member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, New Jersey Psychological Association, Northeast Counties Association of Psychologists, New York State Psychological Association, The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, The New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, the International OCD Foundation, the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACSB) and a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

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