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#MarriageStrong Project : Acts of Service (Week 5) by Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D.

Updated: Mar 7, 2019

#MarriageStrong Project : Acts of Service (Week 5) by Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D., Bergen County Moms

Intimate relationships are often one of the happiest portions of a person’s life. Romantic relationships can keep you going on tough days and ground you to what matters most. Whether you’ve been married for 10 years or 5 months, however, every relationship can benefit from intentional action to improve its functionality, and each member’s enjoyment of the relationship and time spent together.

These actions don’t necessarily need to be extravagant in nature, but rather can be accomplished in a few minutes each day. Each week I will offer one action that can immediately improve your relationship, for both of your benefit.

Week 1 | Actively Listen

Week 2 | Spend Time Alone

Week 3 | Acknowledge Each Other’s Contributions Week 4 | Flirt With Each Other, Yes Flirt.

Week 5 | Acts of Service

Do something that you know your partner wants you to do without them reminding you of it. Small acts such as this can go a long way. You don’t have to volunteer to paint the house, but maybe you pick up the kids toys, do a load of laundry, or stop at the pharmacy for something you know your partner is out of. Engaging in these small acts of kindness lets your partner know that you not only were thinking of them, but were thinking of ways to make them happy.

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Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in Ridgewood and Hoboken, NJ. He has extensive clinical and research experience spanning individuals of all ages, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He specializes in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and relationship problems. His therapeutic approach focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help patients effectively address personal challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques to offer a personalized approach tailored to each patient. He has been trained in cognitive-behavioral, dialectical behavior, schema-focused, and emotionally focused therapy, and has also been involved with research projects throughout his career, including two National Institute of Mental Health-funded studies. He is a member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, New Jersey Psychological Association, Northeast Counties Association of Psychologists, New York State Psychological Association, The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, The New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, the International OCD Foundation, the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACSB) and a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

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