I am just getting over the stomach bug. I got it January 1st. What happened to my big goals for 17? Happy New Year to me?! What a funny twist of fate. Some good did come out of it, however. My husband had to take care of the kids for two days. When I finally reemerged from my room, hair astray and ripped pajama pants, I shuffled downstairs and caught him stuffing M&M's down the hatch. I laughed out loud because I get it. When you are taking care of little kids all day, you have to self-medicate by sticking your hand in the candy jar. "What about your New Year’s resolution," I asked? He responded, "I didn't want to but I had to." YES! Me too. Solidarity! I laughed even harder when he said, "I'm about to play pie face with the kids, but I just need a second." No truer words have ever been uttered. "I just need a second." Yes because this is all we get with little kids. Seconds at a time. M&M's and seconds.
Stomach bug = worth it.
I love when people get it. I wanted to pump my fists in the air and scream, "I'm understood!!!!!!" Sometimes this is all we need. Someone to say, "I understand." When you have that, it actually makes everything seem easier. This is how we bond in marriages and friendships. My husband and I always laugh when we say 'that we love to hate together.' When we both hate the person who cuts us off driving, no truer love will ever be had. DAMN HIM! Or when my friend and I see something ridiculous on Facebook and immediately text each other. Sisterhood.
Some of my closest friends are the ones who can listen to me vent and instead of snickering in a corner at my expense (pssst, can you believe her toddler hits her) they put their hand on my shoulder and say, "I get it." (My toddler bites me). Even if my problem seems silly to them, they know in the moment it isn't silly to me. And maybe we will laugh at it later with a funny bitmoji or video clip. Remember when your toddler almost sent you to the looney bin?! Oh Hahahaha. Yes, wasn't that a hoot?! There is nothing that I love more than people who get it, or at least get me.
2016 wasn't a rough year for me in terms of 'real life perspective' (as my 5 year old says..."for real life?"). I was just spread thin. At times, I didn't know who to trust. Some friendships ended and some took a new turn. I had big life changes which, even though were good, were still trying. The process of getting from one point to the next sometimes is trying, even if point B is something good. There was a lot going on and I felt off my game. But, as the year took over, I did notice that true people and friends started to become apparent. And I started to find gratitude in some everyday things and found comfort in people who understood.
If I can take away anything from 2016, it is important to find the worth you have in yourself. There is nothing more valuable than putting value in yourself. Because even though it feels good when someone else understands, nothing feels better than when you understand yourself. So, even though it felt soooooo good when my husband understood how hard being home with the kids all day is...I have to realize that I need to always be able to find value in myself and what I'm doing for my family. That is one of my goals for 2017; to understand the value that I bring to the table, in friendships, parenting, relationships, writing, etc.
And I do believe in fresh starts. It is always nice to wipe the slate clean. What are your goals for 2017? For me, it is simple; I want to be my best self. What does that mean? It means surrounding myself with people who get it, who lift me up. Continuing to raise my kids to the best of MY ability and not the ability of Sally Sue down the block, or anyone else around me for that matter. I need to do what is best for my family. Be me. Grow what I can grow and hold back on things that aren't helping me grow. Self-medicating with exercise and good food and saying no the quick fixes., i.e. the candy jar. But also allowing myself to realize that sometimes seconds and M&M's might help the matter (on occasion) and then getting up the next day and doing it again with a grateful heart.
It is so exciting to know that we can start our best year yet, today.
Happy New Year. I hope it is everything you have ever dreamed of.
Xo
Noreen Heffernan, Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies and Beautycounter Consultant,
Noreen.heffernan@gmail.com