Little and Insignificant by Noreen Heffernan

If I get elbowed in the boob one more time, I might officially lose it.

My husband always says, “People have been having kids since the beginning of time.” In other words, I don’t want to hear about the fact that you are getting elbowed.

“Yes but were they all elbowed in the boob 100 times a day, or is that just me?” Is every Mom getting elbowed there? I mean, I cannot picture those cavewomen getting elbowed as they tell their kids to go pick up the rocks, but that is just my opinion. It is the most annoying thing. It must be this weather.

We are trapped inside trying to barrel through the days indoors. The snow and ice is covering our grounds and our SOULS!!!!! The ice won’t thaw and my kids won’t stop climbing on me all day long and elbowing me as they get comfortable. The Perfect Storm! (Insert the sound of thunder)

I’m glad you are comfortable?! –That is what I say to myself as they lay all over my body.

We all have our own daily struggles. But, I will not let mine drown me. They are trivial; getting elbowed, hearing whines, battling doll fights; meeting demands…little and insignificant. I am blessed for that. I guess I have to look at it that way. Otherwise, I will focus on the uncomfortable elbowing as something of great consequence and that is when the little things can drown me. I’ll want to scream and shout about it and then what does my life become when I am harping about something like that?!

Can you believe I am getting elbowed every single day by my beautiful little daughters?

Who would I become?! Someone unworthy of them…

I’m trying to slowly teach my daughters about this concept as I remind myself. The concept that little and insignificant problems of life do not matter much. We cannot focus on them. We have to focus on the bigger picture of life. Right? With that, knowing when to walk away and realizing how to choose our battles is how we cope.

My 4 year old came up to me this morning and said, “My doll is missing a shoe.” So. “Can you still play with her,” I asked? “Yes, but…” “Yes, you can. Take off the other shoe and go play.” If we make a little non-issue like that a big deal, how will they cope with the bigger things throughout life? We are setting them up. Will they even be able to cope throughout life as they try to find their way? I think it could create more problems for them. A little thing becomes a big thing. OH MY GOD, A MISSING SHOE…HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY PLAY WITH IT? WE MUST FIND IT!!” No, they need to be able to brush certain things aside as insignificant. And also, I am not going to search an hour for a needle in a haystack. (Coming soon, how to de-clutter my house)

And then I have to remind myself to apply the same concept in my own life. Last week, a friend said something to me that offended me. It was completely a joke but at the same time, it was completely unnecessary. I know in my heart that it meant nothing. It was both little and insignificant. So, I chose to brush it aside. It actually happened 2 times last week by 2 different people. I chose to brush both comments aside. I chose not to talk about it with anyone. I did not allow it to influence the opinion I have of myself or of them. It does not affect the bigger picture; our friendship.

By understanding the difference and weighing our options, we can decide what is most significant to us.

Health, well-being, bullying, family, name-calling, hitting, biting, friendships, happiness…all significant!

A meaningless comment, a missing shoe, an uneaten sandwich, marker on the pillow, who gets the Ariel doll first, getting elbowed in the boob…all insignificant.

Women have been having babies and being Moms since the beginning of time, yes. But, there is only one you and each child is unique and special, and each child comes with their own bags of both significant and insignificant concerns. Knowing the difference is half the battle. And teaching our children which is which, that is our job. They follow our lead.

Good luck out there Moms! I hope you have insignificant problems today!

~Noreen Heffernan,Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies