How to Talk to Your Teen Without Annoying Them by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Honestly, it’s a crap shoot. I watch my words and tone of voice, and WHAM. How did something so innocent and well-intentioned go so wrong?

I don’t recall my parents worrying about annoying me. Do you? Times were different, expectations were different, they parented differently.

But me? I have been plagued by people-pleasing and avoiding conflict. While I think I’m protecting myself, I’m not because I end up disconnected and alone. At a deeper level, I know I have let them down, too.

What? I’ve let them down?

Tiptoeing around and keeping my feelings to myself means they don’t really know where I stand, and they don’t know where they stand. Trying to avoid ‘provoking’ them doesn’t do them any favors. It’s the wrong motivation anyway.

So back to the original question: how do you talk to your teen without annoying them?

There is no guarantee. You cannot control or guarantee or prevent someone else’s reaction.

There are three things you can change up, and they’re all about you:

1. Fine-tune what you say and how you say it. There are ways to ask questions and engage that are more likely to be heard and received.

2. Come to terms with their annoyance. Teens are pretty much programmed to be annoyed by their parents. You can do everything ‘right’ and still be met with an attitude. Remember, the reaction is not about you.

3. Accept that the unwanted and unexpected are the norm. Because they are. You have no power to control what happens outside of you. When you let go of expecting a certain outcome, an unpleasant outcome is easier to bear.

   
   

Cheer up. There’s hope… even if it’s not how you imagined it would be.

P.S. Want to eliminate the frustration of conversations with your teen that go nowhere? Schedule a complimentary, no-obligation, 30-minute call with me HERE. When you know better, you'll do better and get faster results.  

Fern Weis | Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.