To be effective in our interactions with others, it is important for us to know what we actually want— in other words, what our goal is. This is no easy task!
Many interactions get off track because we are not clear about what we really want or because our emotions interfere with knowing what we want.
As a result, it is important for us to clarify our priorities before entering our interactions with others. This interpersonal effectiveness DBT skill presents three possible goals.
Goal #1: Getting What You Want From Another Person
Objectives Effectiveness
Saying no to unwanted and unreasonable requests
Resolving an interpersonal conflict
Getting your opinion or point of view taken seriously
Goal #2: Keeping and Improving the Relationship
Relationship Effectiveness
Balancing immediate goals with conserving relationships
Maintaining relationships that matter to you
Acting such that the other person continues to like and respect you
Goal #3: Keeping or Improving Self-Respect
Self-Respect Effectiveness
Respecting your own values and beliefs
Acting in a way that makes you feel moral
Acting in a way that makes you feel capable and effective
Maram Barakat, M.A., is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She has a master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Teachers College, Columbia University, with a special focus on global mental health and research methods. She is primarily interested in providing access to quality mental health services in low-to-middle income countries and vulnerable populations. She is especially passionate about working with survivors of abuse and violence. In fact, she has integrated her passion with her academic interests by focusing her master's thesis on culturally adapting and implementing cognitive processing therapy to Syrian refugee women who have experienced sexual violence during and post-displacement. Maram has worked as a mental health professional and advocate in Lebanon, Uganda, and New York for the past six years. At the Lukin Center, Maram will be taking on the role of social media manager. Her main responsibilities entail managing and monitoring the center's social media platforms, creating content, increasing engagement, and more. Apart from her professional interests, she enjoys acting, karaoke, and extreme sports.
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