Scene: Family is in the kitchen. Parents announce where they will all go for dinner. Teen daughter stomps off, goes to her room and slams the door. Parents are baffled.
Does this sound familiar? What's with the stomping and slamming? They're going out for dinner. What's wrong with that?
Imagine that you are the 13-year old daughter, and yet again, nobody has asked where you want to go. No, it's not the end of the world.
But for this girl it's just one more example of how decisions have been made around her and rarely with her, especially about things that involve her. Her parents love her deeply, and have unknowingly made her feel unimportant.
Of course there are decisions that must be made only by parents. There are also countless situations in which to include your teen. Why?
It will work wonders on your relationship when your child feels heard.
They feel their opinion is of value.
It's important to be recognized as a contributing member of the family.
You learn about their likes, dislikes and perspectives.
They have practice expressing, and sometimes defending, an opinion.
The benefits of soliciting their opinion? Priceless.
What is a decision for which you can ask for their input?
P.S. I love to help parents prepare for the teen years, instead of making it up as you go. Contact me to schedule your complimentary consultation at fern@fernweis.com or join my private FB group HERE.
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.