So many of us struggle with how to give our opinion to others without being bossy or overbearing. The goal is to find the right balance between an empathetic and empowering exchange that promotes autonomy and decision-making versus simply telling someone what to do and expecting that it will get done that way.
As the parent of adult children, this entire concept of how to guide is one that needs to be delicately navigated every day!
The key to successful and creative advice giving is to be curious about the interchange of information itself. Ask lots of questions. Try to leave any judgements and pre-conceived ideas out of the interchange. When giving your opinion, state it in a way that is respectful such as “…if it were me, this is what would be important for me now… versus why don’t you XYZ…” The best advice we can get comes not from others, but from our own inner instincts, simply because we are more invested on making changes based on thoughts that belong to us and not to someone else!
Below are 3 quotes about giving advice:
"We all want to fix each other! Yet the advice we seek from others is often the information that we tend not to take lasting action on. If we do what our friends or family suggest…often we may wind up blaming them if it does not work out! The most satisfying answers are the ones that we give to ourselves. The very best way to give advice is to be curious! Ask questions. Then validate and reframe answers, and then ask more questions. A conversation that is less "lesson driven" and more inquisitive will not only flow more naturally, and be more genuine, it will be the most helpful to the person who is seeking your council.”
“When a friend or loved one seeks advice it is often difficult to know what to say and how much information to offer. The best idea is to keep your exchange as conversational and non-judgmental as possible. One of the simplest ways to do so is to infuse empathy into the situation. Meet your friend where they are in their story. You are more likely going to be able to see things from a different perspective then them because you are not at the center of their conflict. Be inquisitive. Listen. Pause. Instead of jumping in to rescue the person or the conversation, let the dialogue play out. If you want someone to open up, allow silence to be a part of the conversation. If you say less, the person you are giving advice to will organically begin to say more! Resist the need to respond or react right away and let the conversation unfold.”
“What you see in the mirror, you mirror. Think love, reflect respect, and believe in self-worth. The single longest relationship you will ever have is with YOU and that relationship resets over and over again. You are the CEO of your life, a unique brand called YOU. What do you want that brand to reflect? Have a board meeting with yourself. Tap into your inner voice for sound and actionable advice. What can you do right now to validate and then stay in this ongoing conversation with yourself?”
Randi Levin CPC, founder & CEO, Randi Levin Coaching – is a nationally recognized transitional life strategist, Fortune 500 keynote, author, and reinvention expert. Randi supports women in becoming legends in their own lives! She works with emerging entrepreneurs and women in transition to redefine their legacy so that they can move from wanting success to living successfully. Randi is a legacy catalyst employing the power of today to curate, design, and drive choice and limitless growth. She is a relatable resource and an action-oriented coach building upon her 15 years in Corporate America, her tenure as a stay-at-home super mom, and her successful reinvent and pivot as an entrepreneur and sought-after life strategist. Randi Levin Coaching is widely quoted and featured in top media outlets and she is regularly a featured guest expert on podcasts, radio, and women’s panels. You may have seen her quoted or as a contributor in Thrive Global, HuffPost, Reader’s Digest, Business Insider, American Express OPEN Forum, Working Mother Magazine, Better After 50, or Covey Club. Her workshops have been featured in The Wall Street Journal and Randi is the creator of The Personal Success Accelerator System and a contributing author in the anthology series Get RESULTS!