Your Expectations Are Not My Responsibility by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

OMG, how often have I put others above myself? Let their expectations be my guide? I believe we all struggle with this.

You don’t have to jump when others say 'jump'. Yes, you have responsibilities on the job. That's what you're being paid for.

But in your family... Are you giving in to your children more than you'd like? More than is good for them or for you?

If you have helped create the expectations they have of you, then your responsibility is to alter how you respond.

The thing we don't want to look at is the thing that requires looking within. Asking the questions,

"How did I contribute to this?" OR"

Did I contribute to this?"

And then the big, scary questions.

"Why? Why did I create this?"

"What was going on in my thoughts and how I see myself, that I contributed to my child's attitude and expectations?"

If you haven’t examined this yet, the exploration can be daunting. Yet it is some of the most rewarding work you can do.

I’ll give you a few hints:

You want to be loved. Approval is important to you. Conflict is distressing so you avoid saying no.

But the implications for your child’s development (and your sanity) are big.

·      It deprives them of opportunities to delay gratification and sit with discomfort.

·      Their relationships are affected by a belief that others are there to serve them.

·      They take on less responsibility and have less consideration for others.

It’s not all doom and gloom, I promise.

The way out is by looking within. By becoming more confident and committed to the person you hope your child will become.

I can help. Let’s talk.

Learn more about parent coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com or email me at fern@fernweis.com. For more tutorials, tips, support and community, join my private FB group.

Fern Weis | Parent + Family Recovery Coach

Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.