Understood by Noreen Heffernan


Why are Mom friends so important?

I know that I could not survive without them. They all bring different things to the table but are the same in one thing; their imperfection. That is what I fall in love with in Mom friends. That is what I am drawn to. It makes them human to me, and lovely. When I see someone trying too hard to be the perfect mom or acting like it is the only thing that makes them tick, it makes me question if I want them in my life. I don’t want a friend in my life who knows all the answers. I want someone who doesn’t. I want us to find out together. Because after all, there is no ONE answer for anything when it comes to parenting. Sometimes I think there isn’t an answer at all. There is just a lot of trying and a lot of imperfection; there is a lot of hoping we are doing the right thing.

I have always wanted real in my life. I have always gravitated toward people who can be honest with themselves about the hardships of life, even if they are miniscule. They are there, nonetheless, for everyone. I don’t care if you have more money than Donald Trump. I don’t care if you are a working mom or a stay at home. I don’t care if you have a struggling marriage or one of perfection. None of this matters to me. What matters is being truthful in your journey; being honest in your journey. And then, sharing that honesty with others in the same boat. Those people, those moms, are the woman who help me get up in the morning. They are the ones who I can text at 8:45 am and say, “I have already had the worst day.” And they are the ones who text me back and say, “I’m with you.” Or they text me back something funny and I laugh so hard through my tears.

They make me feel understood.

Not that I have never felt understood in my life, but I think I feel most understood now. I’m sure we have all been misunderstood at some point in our lives. But, what we are now is so much different than what we were then. Being a Mom changes everything. In changes our minds, our souls, and our outlook on life. I try to stay away from the drama of it. Try. Sometimes it is hard. But as long as you surround yourself with the right people, it tends to stay at bay, because, the right people take care of each other. They lift up. They don’t care if you are class mom. They don’t care if you bake the best brownies or give the best gifts on Valentine’s Day. They only care about you. And when a parent dies or a friend is sick, they offer help. They make meals. They send groceries. They genuinely care. Is it hard to find supportive moms? No. Absolutely not. It isn’t hard at all. They surround us all with a wink and knowing smile. They are at the grocery store. They are in your gym class. They are sitting at the pediatrician’s office. They are in your playgroup or in your Mom’s club. They are at the pool, at the beach, on Facebook, walking down the street. They are all here to make you realize that you aren’t alone. Give them a wink and a wave. Give them a thumbs up. Show them that they aren’t alone. And the ones who are in your life, treasure them.

I celebrate my Mom friends. I thank them. I hope they know how much I love them. I hope they know that I understand them.

I hope you know that too.

You are understood.

~Noreen Heffernan,Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies

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