Someday… It’s good to have dreams; it’s even better to do something about making them reality.
There were some pretty significant hopes and desires we had. And then the day finally came when we couldn’t wait and hope they would happen. They were just too important. Here’s the most important, life-changing one.
Someday… we’ll have a family. It took about two years to get confirmation that the odds of us having our biological children was about 5%. The best advice we received was to set a limit on time and procedures. Whichever came first, if we still didn’t have a child, we’d look at adoption.
I am forever grateful to my husband for assuring me that adoption was already an option for him. We did procedures and adoption research at the same time. We made connections. And out of the blue, a phone call came. 'There’s a 13-day old baby waiting to be adopted. Are you interested?'
Can you say, “Hell, yeah!”? Forty-eight hours later we were parents. Terror doesn’t begin to describe those first days for me. That night the pediatrician came to our house to check out our bundle of joy and give us some pointers.
We changed his diapers on our dresser. We were up all night feeding him and anxious about how little he took from the bottle. And when, oh when, could we get some sleep?!
Little by little we developed some routines and a bit of confidence that we could do this.
Two weeks later, at his one-month check-up, I was looking and feeling pretty comfortable. The doctor asked, “Didn’t you think nine months would make a difference?”
Of course, we did. And yet, there’s no substitute for the real thing. Once you bring your baby home, life will never, ever be the same again.
Four years later, with one week’s notice, we were parents again. We all traveled to Arkansas to bring our gorgeous girl home. Only this time, we already had skills, and furniture and equipment! And a girl! (Let the clothes shopping really begin!) She brought a whole new dimension to our little family, more love, and completion.
It took many years for the yearning to biologically bring a child into the world to fade; to not cry at the sight of my pregnant friends.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We wanted a family. Period. And we couldn’t, wouldn’t wait for someday. That decision was right for us, because it was that important.
Do you see the power of intention? Of deciding? Of taking a step?
Now I can see that someday became reality when we gave ourselves that first deadline. When we took action. When we wouldn’t take ‘someday’ for an answer.
What dream are you hoping will materialize someday? How long are you willing to wait? Are you okay with it not becoming real? (It's okay if the answer is 'yes'.)
Only you can answer those questions. What’s it going to be?
Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting. In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery. She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.
Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.