Using the ‘F-Bomb’ to Start a Conversation By Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach

That got your attention, didn't it?

The expression "F-bomb" (you know, the "F" word that we write f*#@ in public) is an official word in the dictionary. It reminds me of a client who said how upset she would get when her son "dropped the F-bomb". She'd react in such a strong, negative way -- which is understandable. Whatever they were originally discussing was gone, too busy arguing about such a crude and disrespectful way to talk to your mom!

So here's the deal. It is, as always, a gift of an opportunity to talk about it, and explain how your buttons are pushed. This mom figured out that when her son speaks that way, it's all she can hear. Nothing else gets through to her because she can only focus on the bad language and she shuts down. So I suggested that, in a quiet moment, she tell him exactly that. She came up with her own wording to tell him that she's taken aback when she hears it, shuts down, and the language becomes the new issue.

Kids need information. Whether they agree with it or not, information helps them understand, and this is the beginning of settling disputes. How long do you want the yelling and hurt feelings to go on? If you don't talk about it, nothing changes. So talk about it and move on.

Fern Weis is a Parent Coach and Family Recovery Life Coach. She works with parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, from the homework wars to addiction recovery, and all points in between. Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive and be successful through life's challenges. | 201-747-9642


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