Sexy Clutter by Noreen Heffernan



10 years of marriage and 2 kids, what I find sexy is watching my husband bring the recyclables to the curb, or hanging a shelf to store extra towels. I love watching him sort through old paperwork that was stuffed in the back of the closet for years or watching the car pull out of the driveway with the two girls in the backseat. Enticing. I really love when he or I or we, get things done. Oh yes honey, please drag those garbage bags full of old clothes to the drop off bin. Yes! Happy Valentine’s Day to us. My gift is a trip to Target to buy bins. Let’s de-clutter. SMOOCH!

On the flip side, he gives me big hugs when he sees that I bought his men’s soap, the cascade he likes, or if the girls are already bathed and in bed by the time he gets home from work. “You remembered my soap, I love you!” SWOON!

Yes, romance changes and that’s ok. We can find our everyday romance in the spaces between cascade and red roses. Somewhere in the middle of those things are moments that mean everything to us. Moments like, sitting together watching a Breaking Bad marathon or chatting about our days as someone does the dishes; being a listening ear about everyday struggles and people who may set our equilibrium off balance.

We tend to be able to set equilibriums straight again. That is romantic to me.

Currently, I am 35 weeks pregnant so I am in a de-clutter mode. I came across a valentine note from my husband from 2006. He made a card out of extra copy paper, which might seem like it lacked enthusiasm, but I remember that he left it on the table before I left for work that morning. It was a little extra something for the morning. I opened it before I could see the front. Inside was a very sweet handwritten Valentine love note. When I closed it and looked at the front it said, “Happy Valentine’s Day,” with his penmanship. In the upper corner was my penmanship which revealed a grocery list starting with, “swifter fluid.” I laughed so hard and then I showed him and he laughed. Somewhere between 2006 and now, I decided to sabotage his sweet little love note with real life.

Yes, real life emerges in all of its glorified romance, i.e., quick grocery store flowers and/or a quick run to CVS to pick up a card the day of. But you know what, I will enjoy my CVS bought box of chocolates, licking each finger one by one. Pop, pop, pop, slurp!

And you know what else; real life is everything that matters. A fantasy about what one thinks is better in regards to relationships and/or beauty and/or sex and/or love is a whimsy. It is a castle in the sky. Eventually, real life always rears its beautiful head. Real life with real struggles is where we all reside on the everyday. Why do you think almost every single Bachelor relationship ends once the show is over? A fantasy can’t ever be maintained. And if we are all smart enough, we will realize that real life is the place where we find our biggest happiness; in the space between cascade and red roses.

What I am looking forward to this Valentine’s day, is spending the day with my family where I am smothered in pink taffeta, handwritten cards, smooches, snuggles, hair bows and a little sexy de-cluttering.

Yes, real life is absolutely beautiful.

Yes, real life is all that matters.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours.

~Noreen Heffernan,Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies

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