I saw a quote the other day that resonated with me. It said,
“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now.”
I feel like that’s true. You are really never ready to do anything. Sometimes, you just do it. Like when my daughter went to kindergarten for her first day. The teacher had all of the parents take a picture outside the classroom and then she walked them right in. I know that my daughter wasn’t necessarily ready to go in, but she did. She didn’t think about it. She just did it.
Are we ever really ready for anything? Probably not, but I guess we cannot sit around and wait until we are. Otherwise, it will never happen. We will never go for that new job. We won’t ever step in that new school. We won’t ever try for that new baby. We won’t take risks. And then, there wouldn’t be any rewards. And those rewards sometimes are so sweet.
My reward was sweet; when I found out I was pregnant with my third baby.
With such a mix of emotions, I know that I’m not ready yet. But, I know I have time to get ready. I don’t think I was ready to hear those words, “you are pregnant.” With a history of miscarriages and problems, I almost felt like I couldn’t take the risk. But I also know that if I waited too long, I would be waiting forever. I never wanted to live with regrets.
I know I wasn’t ready for the morning sickness which lasted all day and night. I wasn’t ready for the weeks and weeks of crawling through my day, dry heaving as I got my kids up and then falling asleep before I could get them to bed. I wasn’t ready for each appointment and the bloodwork and the ultrasounds. I wasn’t ready for the scared faces of my children as I lay on the bathroom floor unable to get up. “Why are you so sick mommy?”
Oh Gosh. Ummm, bad food?
I wasn’t ready to have to pass on dinners out with my friends and birthday parties. I felt bad that my husband would have to take the girls as I lay face first on my bed (a permanent look for me during my pregnancies)—willing myself not to vomit. I wasn’t ready for crying as I woke up running to the bathroom, thinking, “I just can’t do this another minute.” I wasn’t ready for the talk of mini-vans and bunk beds. I’m still not ready for those conversations. I don’t feel ready for maternity clothes, which I know is coming any day now. I don’t feel ready at all.
But, what I know is that I will take it day by day, moment by moment, dry-heave by dry-heave. I will drink my water, stay away from those cold-cuts, and try and embrace it all. I know I am blessed that right now, all is going well. And with God and hopefully some prayers on my side, I hope it will continue to stay that way. You can’t blame me for being cautious.
But, the clouds seem to be clearing now.
Ready or not, I will hopefully be blessed with a new baby in March.
Thank you for coming along with me on this ride through motherhood. I’m sure there will be a slew of new material for me to write about. I was running out anyway ;)
Please say a private prayer for me and this baby. And please know, that if you don’t feel ready for something, jump in…take the plunge. Maybe just maybe, you will end up with gold.
~Noreen Heffernan,Writer, MA in Public and Corporate Communications, Certified in PR Writer, Growing Ladies