Look Into My Eyes by Fern Weis, Parent + Family Recovery Coach



Who remembers real, live, face-to-face communication? All right, it’s a bit dramatic. But the fact is that we have become used to relating to others without the benefit of our senses – sight, hearing and touch – and our relationships could be richer and more fulfilling with them.

Today’s tip is “Look into my eyes”. You will never have as much direct, honest and sincere communication as when you gaze into someone’s eyes. Take a look.

It is said that the eyes are the window to the soul. Whether your eyes show love or pain, approval or sadness, they will surely express the real emotion behind your words. For me it is a way to receive cues and clues about the other person. I feel more connected and better able to interpret people and situations. So please, look into my eyes.

To look somebody in the eye (idiom): to look directly at someone without fear or shame. “It is also clearly used in many situations to signal attraction, love and even agreement.” So says Frances Chen, Asst. Professor at the University of British Columbia. “Adults make eye contact between 30% and 60% of the time in an average conversation,” says the communications-analytics company, Quantified Impressions. People should be making eye contact 60% to 70% of the time to create a sense of emotional connection, according to its analysis of 3,000 people speaking to individuals and groups. (Wall Street Journal article)

Making sustained eye contact is something I consciously work at in all my face-to-face conversations. I can almost feel myself being physically and emotionally drawn closer to the other person.

There is valuable information that doesn’t reach us when communicating electronically. We lose feelings of intimacy and trust. What will help you regain connection and trust in your relationships? Put down your devices. Listen with your ears and listen with your eyes.


Fern Weis is a certified life coach who learned that caring and good intentions are not enough in parenting.  In fact, they are often the problem! Fern supports parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, including addiction recovery.  She helps parents release guilt, end enabling and confidently prepare their children to thrive through life's challenges. Her articles are featured in Thrive Global, Medium, Motherly, The Teen Mentor, and Bergen County Moms.  

Learn more about coaching and classes at www.fernweis.com. And then download your free guide, "Five Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk." For information on Family Recovery programs, visit www.familyrecoverypartners.com.


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